Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Unfortunately, I Don't Think This Is a Satire



from commentor SteveLG at the eschaton:

President George W. Bush Christmas Ornament

Make President George W. Bush a part of your family’s holiday celebrations with the “President George W. Bush” Christmas Ornament. This 4 ½” likeness of President Bush makes a unique gift for friends and family who respect and support our nation’s leader.

This ornament has been selected from renowned designer Christopher Radko’s exclusive “Stars and Stripes Collection.” Each ornament is hand-made and brilliantly colored by craftsmen skilled in mold making, glass blowing and hand painting.

Each design is hand-carved, then using a Renaissance-era technique, a sand-cast mold is created from molten metal. Then the seven-day process of creating a Christopher Radko Christmas ornament begins. The glassblower creates the ornament using clear tempered glass, which gives the ornament noticeable weight. The ornament is then injected with liquid silver, which gives the ornament its special luminescence. Three applications of paint are required to achieve a spectacular level of detail, and a final dusting of glitter is applied to give your ornament extra sparkle.

only $49.95! what a bargain for such soul-shaking artistry!

haay haay... bye bye bye!



bye bye bye
i don't wanna make it tough
but i've had enough
and it ain't no lie
bye bye
i don't wanna be a fool for you
just another player in your game for two
i don't wanna be your fool
but it ain't no lie
baby bye bye bye
don't really wanna make it tough
i just wanna tell you that i've had enough
it might sound crazy but it ain't no lie
baby bye bye bye

disclaimers for science textbooks for children



hysterical! written by a professor of evolutionary biology at swarthmore... in response to loonies like the members of this school board in georgia who ordered affixing "warning stickers" on biology textbooks in their school system.

[via yuppies of zion]

Bitch Slap!



those dastardly activist judges!

Monday, November 29, 2004

confluence



i really, really need one of these buttons. especially the fish one.

thanks, emi koyama, who puts the emi back in feminism.

well, i knew it couldn't be good news for long...



damnit.

Bush Picks Kellogg CEO for Commerce Post

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush nominated Kellogg CEO Carlos Gutiérrez on Monday as his next commerce secretary.

If confirmed by the Senate, the Cuban-born Gutiérrez, 51, will replace Don Evans, one of several Bush cabinet members to leave the administration after the president's re-election earlier this month.

In a White House ceremony, Bush hailed Gutiérrez as a "great American success story" who learned English as a bellhop in a Miami hotel and rose through the ranks of Kellogg, starting as a truck driver delivering Frosted Flakes.

At every stage of his career, said Bush, "Carlos motivated others with his energy and his optimism and impressed others with his decency."

Gutierrez was 6 years old when Fidel Castro's guerrillas triumphantly rode into Havana, trapping Gutierrez's family in Miami where they were on vacation.

Gutiérrez has been chairman of the board of Kellogg Company since April 2000 and chief executive officer since April 1999. He had joined the company in Mexico in 1975.

He and his wife, Edilia, live in Battle Creek, Michigan. They have three children.

gutiérrez has been a donor to bush's campaign since the 2000 election and was one of the "36 key business leaders" (who all were big campaign donors to the republicans) Bush met in january 2001 as noted by various organisations, including the nonpartisan center for responsive politics.

gutiérrez is a hyperwealthy immigrant who is also the child of cuba's pre-castro hyperwealthy rightist élite. latino leaders has an article about him.

i wonder if he will have any real power.

Supreme Court Denies Cert to Largess



woo-hoo!

Supreme Court declines Massachusetts same-sex marriage fight
Conservatives had challenged state law allowing unions
Monday, November 29, 2004

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Supreme Court on Monday sidestepped a dispute over same-sex marriages, rejecting a challenge to the nation's only law sanctioning such unions.

Justices had been asked by conservative groups to overturn the year-old decision by the Massachusetts Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage. They declined, without comment.

In the past year, at least 3,000 gay Massachusetts couples have wed, although voters may have a chance next year to change the state constitution to permit civil union benefits to same-sex couples, but not the institution of marriage.

Critics of the November 2003 ruling by the highest court in Massachusetts argue that it violated the U.S. Constitution's guarantee of a republican form of government in each state. They lost at the 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Boston.

Their attorney, Mathew Staver, said in a Supreme Court filing that the Constitution should "protect the citizens of Massachusetts from their own state supreme court's usurpation of power."

Federal courts, he said, should defend people's right "to live in a republican form of government free from tyranny, whether that comes at the barrel of a gun or by the decree of a court."

Merita Hopkins, a city attorney in Boston, had told justices in court papers that the people who filed the suit have not shown they suffered an injury and could not bring a challenge to the Supreme Court. "Deeply felt interest in the outcome of a case does not constitute an actual injury," she said.

Massachusetts Attorney General Tom Reilly told justices that voters can overrule the Supreme Court by adopting a constitutional amendment.

The lawsuit was filed by the Florida-based Liberty Counsel on behalf of Robert Largess, the vice president of the Catholic Action League, and 11 state lawmakers.

The conservative law group had persuaded the Supreme Court in October to consider another high profile issue, the constitutionality of Ten Commandments displays on government property. The court agreed to look at that church-state issue before Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

He is working from home while receiving chemotherapy and radiation and will miss court sessions for the next two weeks.

State legislators will decide whether to put the issue before Massachusetts voters in November 2006. Voters in 11 states approved constitutional amendments banning gay marriage in November elections. President Bush has promised to make a federal anti-gay marriage amendment a priority of his second term.

The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court narrowly ruled that gays and lesbians had a right under the state constitution to wed.

The nation's high court had stayed out of the Massachusetts fight on a previous occasion. Last May, justices refused to intervene and block clerks from issuing the first marriage licenses.

The case is Largess v. Supreme Judicial Court of the State of Massachusetts, case no. 04-420.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

tatar "dating" in the world's tiniest mosque



(sort-of) hot on the heels of this...

World's smallest mosque built in Kazan [20032018]

The world's smallest mosque has been built in the memory of Tatars who were killed during the taking of Kazan by troops of Russian Tsar Ivan the Terrible in 1552. According to Rosbalt, not more than 10 people can worship in the mosque at one time.

The mosque was built in the style of a miniature copy of the Kul Sharif mosque, which was constructed on the territory of the Kazan Kremlin [sic for krieml "citadel"]. The miniature octahedral mosque measures 25 square meters. It has one cupola and four 10-meter high minarets. The interior of the mosque covers only ten square meters. The initiator of the construction of the mosque was a 77-year-old WWII veteran. Various organizations and individuals donated money for the construction of the mosque.

[from prawda via muslim population, an apparently-abandoned website; all cites mine -ed.]

... comes this:
Kazan mosque helps to build Muslim families [18-02-2004]

The Kazan mosque Suleyman opened a dating service [sic] that helps to build Muslim families. The service works every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, it tell everybody willing about national traditions of family upbringing and traditions of Islam in the sphere.

It is noteworthy that this mosque also organizes fund collection for children and pensioner´s houses. It holds dinners for orphans and lonely senior citizens.

(excerpt from the islam in russia newsletter via muslim news (uk))

i think it's hysterical that they call it a "dating service" - it's actually a kind of rotary thing, it seems, or perhaps the equivalent of a "parish hoe-down" to galvanise and organise suriving local tatars.

incidentally, a perusal of .ru-extension websites will reveal that russians suck at english. i'm not saying they should be good, but hey - even the news services' "english" versions were apparently made with babelfish.altavista.

does it feel drafty in here,
or is it me?



just to show that it's not just LIBRUHLS, there's an article up at the 20041126 edition of counterpunch that talks about the draft:

Delusion is still the defining characteristic of the Bush administration. We have smashed Fallujah, a city of 300,000, only to discover that the 10,000 US Marines are bogged down in the ruins of the city. If the Marines leave, the "defeated" insurgents will return. Meanwhile the insurgents have moved on to destabilize Mosul, a city five times as large. Thus, the call for more US troops.

There are no more troops. Our former allies are not going to send troops. The only way the Bush administration can continue with its Iraq policy is to reinstate the draft.

When the draft is reinstated, conservatives will loudly proclaim their pride that their sons, fathers, husbands and brothers are going to die for "our freedom." Not a single one of them will be able to explain why destroying Iraqi cities and occupying the ruins are necessary for "our freedom." But this inability will not lessen the enthusiasm for the project. To protect their delusions from "reality-based" critics, they will demand that the critics be arrested for treason and silenced. Many encouraged by talk radio already speak this way.

this article is interesting in many ways - the title, after all, is Whatever Happened to Conservatives? - but one of the most interesting parts is the coda:

Paul Craig Roberts was Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in the Reagan administration. He was Associate Editor of the Wall Street Journal editorial page and Contributing Editor of National Review.
if that don't send chills up your back, you are dead.

thanks, father jake.

i hope this is satire.



shut up, you miserable grinches. if you have a problem with big business, then support your local economy, for crying out loud. many small retailers depend on holiday sales to make ends meet, so instead of staying home and being a miserable piece of shit, why don't you go out and make someone smile and help out a struggling artist, young designer, or musician while you're at it?

and what is this garbage? you might want to check yourself into an emergency room, because the rod up your ass has backed up your shit so far that it's poisoning your brain. i see that you complain about people not calling or giving gifts throughout the year -- maybe that's because people avoid you most of the time for being so whiny. now excuse me as i go to a mainstream discount retail outlet *without guilt* and check out the bargains my poor, broke, ain't-got-no-time-to-prowl-independent-outlets ass can afford (any of you "socially responsible" folks out there, rest assured that once i move from $100,000 in debt to "comfortable" i will be helpin' out the little people and buying more expensive recycled paper and all that jazz - because i will have the luxury to do so, but until then, if you even attempt to make me feel guilty for going to mainstream discount outlets, you will be greeted with my $3.50-purchased-from-ebay-adidas-sneaker up your ass) so i can help brighten up someone's day.

*whew!* i feel better now...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!! :D

[via oliver willis]

more speaker babble



if anyone can find cerwin vega bookshelf speakers in decent condition costing $50 or less, do inform me. apparently, cerwin vegas are the speakers one should get for bass heavy music. i want my room to sound like a miami dance club. that is all.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Sword Of The Lord



there's something for everybody. i introduce you to e-sword -- free electronic bible study software. i am sorely tempted to download this. i know i'll never be able to really *win* a debate with a right-wing christian by trading bible quotes. they will always know the bible far better than i do. however, at least, i could show that i'm not totally ignorant about it.

plus, i also want to find all the juicy bits about incest, adultery, and prostitution. and some easy gotcha! quotes to annoy insufferable wingers like charlie at kevin drum's blog.

Why Linux Is Both Terrible And Beautiful



you know how geeks get that faraway look in their eyes when they extol the virtues of the vast and legendary flexibility of linux? well, they aren't joking. you can build your own windowing system from scratch if you were so inclined. the most popular linux distros are ready-made desktop systems -- not exactly one-size-fits-all, but customized for certain types of users.

linux isn't known as an expert-level os for no reason. it allows you all the flexibility you could ask for. if oftens gives you more than you can handle. you could even build a linux system from the kernel source code. you'd need a thorough knowledge of what an operating system does. additionally, a passing familiarity with the linux kernel would speed up this arduous process. i also think you'd have to be a programmer, and a damned good one at that, to be successful. very few linux users go that route, but there is a project out there for those who want to try it.

every level of user can be accomodated with linux. for most of its history, the linux os was a hardcore geek's toy. it is long past that stage now. segments of the open source community are working furiously to meet the needs of novice home desktop users. one project targets XP users. a commercial distribution that used to be sold under the name 'Lindows' until they got sued by microsoft is still chugging along.

the best home desktop linux system is Apple's OS X. of course, to run it as your main OS, you need to buy a mac. for experimental purposes, you can run it via PearPC or a commercially available emulator.

Ooooooohhhhh!!!



finally, two months after i requested some install cds, a package of ten ubuntu 4.1 linux cds came in the mail today. after several unsuccessful tries, i finally got it to install. verrrrry nice. the organization of the desktop should make windows users feel comfortable experimenting with it. it came with a bootable cd so that you can try it without installing it.

my one bitch is that the installation process, although GUI-based and mostly automated, doesn't give very informative failure messages when something goes awry. basically the process halts, and you get a message saying that that the installation cannot be completed. no clear details explaining why are offered.

emily0 gave one of the cds to a stranger at a local cafe. anyone who wants to try it can leave a message in the comments. i still have 9 cds to give away. linux is rapidly approaching the stage where it truly stands a chance as a serious competitor of microsoft in the home desktop market. i'm blown away by the progress in kde and gnome, the two most popular linux desktop systems, over the last 18 months.

pigs do fly



after purchasing a power cord, the abandoned technics stereo receiver/amplifier turned ON! it works!

now all i need to do is forage for abandoned speakers. there are $50 bose 301 series 2 speakers for sale out on brooklyn, but that's far - it's damn near the border of long island proper. no subway service.

*sigh* the hunt continues...

them ay-rabs! or,
a short history of early historic iraq



this emily, namely zilch, studies linguistics. i rarely speak on the subject, but today i had a hankerin' to splain to all you em'lys and henrys what are unfamiliar with the history of mesopotamia about its ancient history.

first, the early cultures from that area are known from archaeological remains. the habitation of the middle east dates back, naturally, to the most ancient of times. homo sapiens neandertalensis bones have been found in these regions back in the 30k range - coterminal with homo sapiens sapiens.

but today we are talking about the periods when people wrote. the sumerians and the speakers of east semitic were the earliest writers; while sumerian has no known relatives (it's what we call a "linguistic isolate"), east semitic is a member of the giant afrasian (or "afro-asiatic") language family, which has some 370 living languages in it. east semitic died out about 300 ce ("common era", i.e. = anno domini), but its most familiar nieces are the arabic languages, hebrew-aramaic-phoenician ("the canaanite dialect continuum"), amharic and other ethiopic languages, ancient egyptian, coptic, sudanese and the south arabian or yemenite languages.

sumerian ceased being a living language in the early bronze age - it remained the language of officialdom for several thousand years but prolly the last native speaker lived before 2500 bce, at which point east semitic eclipsed it.

in the third millennium bce, there were three "urban" east semitic languages:
+ eblaite from modern syria, assyrian from northern iraq & babylonian from southern iraq. there are also written forms for rural east semitic, which is called amurru; the amurri were assimilated by the urban elites and eblaite was a trader's tongue that eventually was eclipsed, leaving two main languages in the late bronze age: assyrian and babylonian, each named for the capital of the country in which each was principally spoken (assur and godsgate [baab-il])

we should start at the beginning of "modern mesopotamia", which is to say the ubaïd culture beginning about 5900 bce. in ancient times, the gulf was larger than it was today - the tigris and euphrates hadn't yet dumped eight thousand years of silt into it so what are now landlocked archaeological sites were once ports. also, river shift over time; some sites are now isolated that once were on the river. one example is the ancient holy site of eridu, in what is now far southern iraq, south of the modern euphrates. the mesopotamians considered it the first city ever built, and perhaps with good reason - it was founded at the beginning of the ubaïd period and remained important for cultural and geographic reasons for a very, very long time.

the ubaïd marked a change to a commercially-oriented culture. it seems the early ubaïd was an innovative time; local populations were organised communally, with all work done in common areas. houses had beds and that's about it; you brought your food to the public kitchen, where you could cook in communal ovens and then eat it there.

this changed. later times show the kind of ancient societies familiar to us from museums: king-priests ruling societies focused on large kin groups.

assyria was most innovative. seeking the crucial tin that enabled bronze-smelting, assyrians traversed the long route to what is now turkey and set up colonies. the locals in turkey were part of the anatolian subfamily of the indo-european language family - english, french, spanish, german, russian, persian and the languages of northern india are members of it. assyrian culture gave great power to women; they had equal legal status to men and effectively ruled the corporation-families that the men represented. this situation somewhat resembled that of historic iroquoian society in that henrys were away from the centers of power for most of the year; emilys therefore had full legal rights and ran things on all levels under that of the bureaucracy.

babylonian society was different; traders plied as far as the far coasts of africa, along modern iran's coastline and even reached what is now north india for spices and such, but many of them were foreigners bringing the goods to babylonia. babylonian emilys had less freedom.

there are words from this ancient time that still remain in our vocabulary. the french word for a ragamuffin, mesquin, is a borrowing through a canaanite language (probably aramaic, important for jews and christians alike) from eblaite muskên-, which means a poor person or someone who has fallen on bad times. the sumerians used a base-12 system rather than the base-10 common to, say, most semitic languages and indo-european ones; their learning gave us the astronomy and the 12 houses of the zodiac (passed also to ancient india and ancient china), twelve months, twelve hours, sixty (12x5) minutes in an hour and sixty seconds in a minute.

iraq means war, arab, islam to so many people. it is important to remember it has a cultural history as rich as egypt's and more important. science was born there. civilization's cradle is there. standard babylonian was maintained as a written standard for the international community of the time for four thousand years - and was supplanted only by another local language, aramaic, which remains spoken to this day. iraq is not just a place to shoot people. it's one of the most historically important places on the earth.

The Sun Done Gone Out For A Sec



very morbid link from boing boing. it's a story of suicide and murder. it's also an example of the truly ugly side of sexism. the next time a limbaughtomized dittohead spews forth about feminazis, email them this link.

bristen mit tuchas



i just read the InJewCon (that's "international jewish conspiracy")'s briefing on T&A. fucking hilarious.

T&A CAMPAIGN “STILL A SUCCESS”

The policy of using naked females to distract viewers’ attention from INJEWCON’s growing media stranglehold has been deemed a success worthy of extension. Committee members celebrated with a screening of Porky’s.

Vice-Chairman Aharon Elyakim says, “We all knew buns were going to work, but the overwhelming success of boobs, what a surprise. You don’t even need to show nipples, which is a good thing, let me tell you. After the surgery, some of those ladies got none left.” He also noted that informal research showed the effect to be equally strong on women, despite a widespread belief that women don’t care for female nudity. “Have you seen the covers of the ladies’ magazines? The kiosk near the bus stop is like a house of disrepute, not that I look.”

Rebbe Shmuel Levi, spiritual advisor to the Minyan which oversees T&A, noted, “Have breasts not always been a powerful source of distraction?” He also revealed that the policy has had a profound personal effect on his life. “Ever since my wife saw Bound, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep.”

Recently assimilated Department Chair Douglas Edwards-Jones says he was unsure of the program’s value when he took over from Morty Cohen last year, but has since changed his mind. “It just seemed a little vulgar to me,” admitted the Stanford graduate. He now says that although the Christian Coalition and other competitors might have stronger grass-roots structures in the mid-western and southern parts of the country, even there the T&A initiative remains strong. Another department affiliate who spoke on condition of anonymity explained this. “Good old boys should be immune to tochas? You see Swordfish? What a stinker. But the bristen on that Berry woman, they did almost as much for race relations in this country as installing that cracker, Johnson, in the White House, may he rest in peace. They were worth every penny we spent on them, and we spent a lot, you know: two mil. That’s a million dollars a nipple. Even I get less done since that film came out. Like most Jewish kids, I grew up thinking all women's breasts were at least a C cup. Those little ones are a nice change, so firm. You're going to see those at home without a VCR?”

Everyone seems to agree that distraction is a very powerful business model. Ari Finberg, Interim Deputy Mohel in charge of Fine Arts, Tourism, and Firearms, thinks this has inspired recent Whitehouse tactics. “Bush has used poor language skills, inconsistency, and the principles of the absurd in all his recent speeches, and he got fifty grand knocked off his taxes for it. The fat one did even better, 300,000. They’re like Laurel and Hardy, those two. ‘The French don’t have a word for entrepreneur?’ The man should be on Ed Sullivan.” He added, “Incidentally, a word for week-end the French don’t have, which concerns me.”

Getting Past The I-I-I-Me-Me-Me



since our defeat at the polls, i've been pondering ways to brainwash conservatives into being good EXTREME pinko commie types who long for the halcyon days of stalin.

okay okay. i'll be serious. one of my biggest peeves with some people is their complete and total inability to understand that the realities of millions of other people are completely different from their own -- that others often cope with bigger obstacles. one thing that pisses me off about a lot of right-wingers is the tendency to yammer on about the way people should be. funny, i hear that complaint from a lot from conservatives about liberals.

anyway, there are some interesting comments today at daily kos in response to a post from a recovering neoconservative.

random call for help



1) if you, say, discovered a technics su-g90 stereo amplifier abandoned by someone moving out of your building, and you adopted it out of the kindness of your heart... but the orphan didn't come with a power cord... will this mumbo jumbo mean anything to an electronic store employee? AC 60hz 120v 355w 485va. i'm not carrying the thing in. it's huge.

2) how do you attach your computer to this thing? what sort of converter do i need?

:-D

i have also rescued a minolta xd11 from the rubble. i don't know anything about old school cameras, but "minolta" is a name that isn't too shabby. that i know. apparently, they're worth quite a bit on ebay.

living in the grand ol' "ICCM" is fabulous for many things, one of which is finding cool shit left in the hallways when people move out. people here are notoriously wasteful, which is good for me! my futon frame, my bookshelf, my microwave, my tv stand/mini-drawers, my wicker picnic basket (with two compartments for wine), and now my minolta and technics amplifier... are all rescues. my sony television set was $25 off of craigslist; our breakfast table was $50 off of craigslist, and to get it home, we hitched a ride with a lesbian couple with a van. and you should see what's in my roommate's room.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Awestruck



i found two wonderful photoblogs today:

The Snowsuit Effort
Chromogenic

Sometimes Pigs Fly



i'm still not totally certain that i'm not hallucinating this new york times column by thomas friedman. well, that's a little strong. he does manage to surprise me sometimes. he's awkwardly strident in this latest departure from his usual fare. i think the flaming eco-liberal isn't a comfortable persona for him.

i nearly choked on my tongue when i got to the part of his rant about hummers.

two things



i finally switched to firefox 1.0. all of the usual plug-ins work with it, and there are no popups. i recommend any other stragglers to do so; it's really quite better than IE and the bulky netscape 7.x.

moving along... if you have to study something particularly boring and/or dense, i would suggest wearing large deejay headphones and playing the mind-numbing trance music i mentioned earlier.

i missed one: binary finary "1998," "1999," or "2000" (yes, it is the track that keeps returning, year after year... sort of like the flu, except uplifting and fun).

this track makes fed courts bearable. it makes you want to say "hey, sandra day o'connor, you really screwed over those black people in allen v. wright in 1984, but damn, this track is really making my pants misty!"

word.

ann "pudenda shenanigans" coulter



JeW*SCHooL (who apparently copied our capitalisation issues here at wAitiNG foR doROthY) has a great article up about how ann coulter used to be a famous drag queen. the cause is being championed by strap-on veterans for truth, who write in part:

Strap-On Veterans for Truth
An organization dedicating to exposing the truth about the former drag queen now known as Ann Coulter

We are a coalition of former friends and co-workers of Ann Coulter who are upset by her vicious anti-gay, anti-muslim, anti-feminist rhetoric and feel the truth should be told. Our organization, Strap-On Veterans For Truth, is dedicated to exposing the true past of America’s number one hatemonger.

Ann Coulter is actually a former drag queen from Key West named Pudenda Shenanigans. Ms. Shenanigans was famous for her renditions of "Dude Looks Like a Lady", "I will Survive" and “You Shook Me All Night Long” as well as an extensive Barbara Streisand repertoire. We who used to work with her are concerned for her as well as upset by the vile hatred she has spewed towards her former friends in the gay community. We feel that by bringing the truth to light perhaps Ann will come to grips with her past and change her wicked ways.

As Pudenda Shenanigans, she was well known on the drag circuit in Key West. Whether she actually had a full sex change or not is a matter of debate, although her adam’s apple is still visible in photos, under the appropriate light. We who laughed, cried, worked and danced with her feel her story should be told. We are not out to punish her, but feel it’s time she owned up to what she really is.

.photos of ms coulter today along with snapshots of ms shenanigans abound, and frankly they are terrifyingly similar...

also, ann coulter does have an adam's apple. i've seen it myself and there doesn't need to be much "right lighting" to see it, frankly. we were laughing about it all election night long.

why i do not wish to live in yemen anytime soon



this article appears in the yemen times. it explains succinctly why i do not wish to live in yemen, no matter how lovely it is.

Yemen on high alert to combat possible locusts swarm

Mohammed Al-Qadhi

Yemen announced Tuesday that it was ready to challenge any locusts swarming the Red Sea region, Abdu al-Rumaih, Head of Locusts Fight center said.

He pointed out that field teams had been dispatched to the Southern and Western regions of the country which include Tihamah, Lahj, Abyan, Shabwa and Aden Gulf.

Millions of hungry locusts have landed in parts of Israel and moved towards Egypt, reaching Saudi Arabia. Egypt’s Agriculture Minister Ahmed al-Leithi denied fresh swarms of locusts were attacking Egypt, noting the ministry received no reports on further locusts that flew on their way to the African coasts.

Speaking during a People’s Assembly session in reply to a number of parliamentary questions on locusts, the minister said, “If climatic conditions are okay, we won’t see more locusts attacking Egypt.”

Al-Rumaih was quoted as saying that his center already requested the ministry of defense to take measures to combat any possible locust swarm on the country, using helicopters. The center already informed the cabinet concerning emergency plan to combat locusts swarm. He said that according to information Yemen obtained from Somalia, Saudi Arabia and Eritrea, Yemen is possibly to be swarmed by locusts coming from the Western coast of the Red Sea.

However, Yemen is hopeful that the Saudi locusts’ fighters’ teams will be able to control the locusts swarm that invaded Tabook area as well as the ability of Yemeni people in combating the locusts, mainly in the mountainous areas as people like eating locusts as they did in 1990.

that's right, folks. if your country suffers biblical plagues on a regular basis, i ain't movin' there.

although... the sydney morning herald had a nice article about how best to beat them by eating them:

Help beat locusts by cooking up a swarm

By Michael Bradley
November 19, 2004

Moses described four kinds of locust that the Hebrews were permitted to eat, but he never recommended they make locust bellata dumplings or a Coonabarabran stir fry. It took a NSW [New South Wales -ed.] plague with the potential to take on biblical proportions to inspire a couple of NSW insect experts to produce Cooking with Sky Prawns, a mostly toungue-in-cheek response to the worsening crisis.

Edward Joshua, a co-author and acting agricultural protection officer with the NSW Department of Primary Industries, does not eat the bugs himself, but he is adamant the "home-delivery bushfood" is nutritionally superior to beef. If the idea catches on, people in the state's west will have little trouble finding a meal. The worst locust plague to hit NSW in 25 years is escalating, with billions of insects reaching adulthood in the past week and taking to the sky.

While infant locusts would normally be eaten by wasps, birds, and worms, in the years of drought there has been a huge depletion in locust predators. Swarms of 50 square kilometres containing up to 500 locusts per square metre are appearing across the state. By next week female locusts will be laying their first batch of 60 eggs, which will hatch before Christmas. The females - and their offspring - will do this another five times before autumn, with each of these creatures capable of consuming 15 times their own body weight in a day.

Since the start of spring the State Government has distributed enough pesticide to spray more then 540,000 hectares, more than ever before. Six aircraft have been spraying swarms this week in the Dubbo region alone, with aerial spraying programs throughout the Mudgee, Coonabarabran, Nyngan, Forbes, and Condobolin districts.

With the swarms capable of travelling 500 kilometres in a night and new hatchings expected within weeks, Mr Joshua says it is hard to judge when the plague can be brought under control. "We're really trying to keep a lid on the situation, and if there are crops on the ground and sheep and cattle to be sold next autumn, then we will have done our job," he said.

word. which, may i add, also means i shall never move to australia either. new zealand is fine, though i might tire of lamb.

incidentally, the famed university of islamic learning, azhar university, has reminded egyptians that locusts are halal - which is to say kosher in american english. here's our last clip for today, regrettably cited off of the "washingmyung" times because i can't seem to locate the UPI story elsewhere:

Egyptian clerics approve eating locusts
Cairo, Egypt, Nov. 21 (UPI) -- Faced with an invasion of locusts, the highest Islamic religious institution in Egypt has reportedly issued an edict allowing people to eat locusts.

The independent al-Masri al-Yawm newspaper

that's egypt today, for those of us who aren't sensationalist wingers that also insist on 'translating' allah for when muslims say 'god' when they are speaking arabic or al-masri al-yawm for egypt today - wonder what they call the arabic edition of usa today? prolly al-waw al-sin al-alif al-yawm or something equally translationally bigoted.
said al-Azhar Institute has decreed it is permitted by religion to eat the red desert locusts that have invaded the country during the past week.

It said al-Azhar has urged all Egyptians to "hunt the locusts and eat them to combat the crisis."

The newspaper quoted Abdul Hamid al-Atrash, the head of the Fatwa Commission in al-Azhar, as saying eating the locusts would "contribute actively in wiping them out, instead of the fear that has consumed the hearts of millions of people."

Al-Atrash said insects that feed off plants are deemed pure for human consumption.

i tell you, if i followed Atrash's general advice to eat what strikes fear in my heart i'd get in really, really big trouble.

also, i'd get fat.

show us the money!



former schoolchildren seek royalties for singing the chorus of pink floyd's "the wall".

you know the chorus:

we don't need no education /
we don't need no thought control /
no dark sarcasm in the classroom /
teachers leave them kids alone

the children recorded the chorus in secret with the help of their music teacher... but without permission of the school headmistress. once the headmistress heard the recording, she banned the pupils from appearing on television or video, making their involvement more difficult to prove. the school authority at the time called the track "scandalous."

A Conundrum of Modern Life



i've been an cybernaut in various 'online' communities for about fifteen years. the geeky obsessive communities that gather the critical mass of participants for long-term survival undergo the same stages of development. both staunchly liberal and staunchly conservative communities exhibit a tendency to express nostalgia for a 'traditional' and therefore more 'authentic' cultural tradition. it is most pronounced around thanksgiving and christmas. at this time of year, established routine dictates that online liberal and conservative communities erupt into frequent expressions of wistful longing for a time when people were more generous, honest, noble, free ... and the list goes on.

today, at the eschaton, a guest blogger floated the idea of organizing a boycott on christmas shopping. the comment thread follows a predictable pattern. once the discussion sufficiently strays from the original topic (it always does), a flurry of posters express their discomfort with the commercialization of modern life. then, a conservative troll briefly wanders in and calls everyone a communist. finally, someone longs for a time when neighbors helped each other build houses, saving most people from a lifetime of servitude to a bank.

conservative political communities likewise express a lot of discomfort with the commercialization of modern life around the holidays. some people lament the glorification of sex, drugs, and rebellion because they blame these trends in popular culture for what they perceive as the cheapening of the moral fabric of society. others bemoan the decline of the institution of the family and the interference of the government in private family matters. eventually, a poster conjures the honorable frontier days when people spent more time with their families, raised their own food, and worked harder than anyone does now.

clearly, both liberal and conservative communities harbor a deep nostalgia for the 'frontier' life. this isn't surprising given america's peculiar fetish for cowboy/pioneer myths. so, let's talk about how 'free' people were in those days.

life expectency was under 50 for more of the 19th century. antibiotics had not been discovered. doctors were scarce, and they really didn't know much anyway. many of them were just as likely to kill their patients as save them. women frequently had as many as ten children. usually, one or more of those children died before the age of five. many women died in childbirth or shortly thereafter. illiteracy was common. corrective eyeglasses were not. the economy teetered between booms and crashes. if one had the unfortunate luck to run into problems with the law, one could look forward to a harsh punishment.

that bygone independence was accompanied by much greater risk and uncertainty. i personally wouldn't trade the life i have now for the nasty, short and brutish one available to my frontier era ancestors in appalachia. that isn't to say that i don't feel a certain tug of appreciation for the disappointments of modern life. in return for the abundance of consumer goods and the availibility of easy, middle class comfort, we labor under constraints both mundane and sinister that americans of the frontier era did not. modern life delivered some mixed blessings. however, on the whole, i'm really thankful that i can easily obtain an affordable pair of eyeglasses. in another era, i'd have been a burden rather than a productive member of society.

the butch v. femme test!!!



time wasting in da hoouuuuuuse!

100 questions. link here.

i am a soft androgyne.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Another One Bites The Dust



from ginmar:

Whoever got me to watch the first episode of Farscape is evil. I watched two episodes, and I am now hooked. It's that bad. You're beyond evil. I'd hate you but I want to talk about it. Do not answer any questions, okay? I just know I'm going to get all of them all at once.

A Wonderful Holiday Rain



it's november 25th here in cambridge, massachusetts, a scene of thanksgiving morning. yeehaw, hells yeah. when i awoke very early this morning to visit the privy, i did gasp dryly for it was a veritable oven in our humble abode. i did the very rare thing on an early morn of november 25th in cambridge, massachusetts of turning off the central heating. then, i did the rarer thing of opening windows and doors to the outside on this day of november 25th. this was followed by the even rarer circumstance of dashing into the outdoors for a trip to one of the local bodegas without the benefit of a sweater or even a wool cap or pair of soft mittens.

a warm rain earlier contributed to a pleasant mist under the breaking sun. this is the best weather possible for a last minute dash to buy a fowl of some sort to roast. i think we have decided to go 'traditional' this year and roast a turkey. i recommend trying duck, sometime though. duck makes for a very *nice* meal.

for the shocked vegetarians, before you mourn or scorn: we buy our food from a collection of hippy, yuppie grocery stores that sell free-range, hormone-free, organic, vegan, rainforest-friendly products. we also shop at the dozens of bodegas owned and operated by immigrant families from puerto rico, the dominican republic, mexico, haiti, india, china, japan, korea, ethiopia, el salvador, brazil, and about a dozen other countries i can't name off the top of my head, including several from the middle east.

despite my household's consumption of meat, we live in a densely populated urban setting where we flaming, latte-guzzling liberals make far more efficient use of energy and other natural resources than those 'real america' bush-voting, red-meat types who treat the word 'liberal' as if it were an omen of doom.

in short, shocked vegetarians, we are on your side. *i* even went to a vegan thanksgiving once and everything was delicious. in fact, the members of my household often cook vegetarian *and* vegan indian dishes at home all the time. vegetarianism is a part of our lives. we do not, however, *practice* it as a mode of living.

with that said, all the members of my household are taking our hippie, closet-marxist, latte-worshipping, godless, EXTREME leftist selves to a nearby food palace to buy our food.

update:

contrary to earlier plans, we have decided to roast a duck. yummy yum yum.

proof positive of what ellis said...



the new york times has a great OP-ED today (registration required...):

Apocalypse (Almost) Now

If America's secular liberals think they have it rough now, just wait till the Second Coming.

Nicholas D. Kristof, New York Times, November 24, 2004

The Left Behind series, the best-selling novels for adults in the U.S., enthusiastically depict Jesus returning to slaughter everyone who is not a born-again Christian. The world's Hindus, Muslims, Jews and agnostics, along with many Catholics and Unitarians, are heaved into everlasting fire:

Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and . . . they tumbled in, howling and screeching.

Gosh, what an uplifting scene!

If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard.

Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, the co-authors of the series, have both e-mailed me (after I wrote about the Left Behind series in July) to protest that their books do not "celebrate" the slaughter of non-Christians but simply present the painful reality of Scripture.

"We can't read it some other way just because it sounds exclusivistic and not currently politically correct," Mr. Jenkins said in an e-mail. "That's our crucible, an offensive and divisive message in an age of plurality and tolerance."

Silly me. I'd forgotten the passage in the Bible about how Jesus intends to roast everyone from the good Samaritan to Gandhi in everlasting fire, simply because they weren't born-again Christians.

I accept that Mr. Jenkins and Mr. LaHaye are sincere. (They base their conclusions on John 3.) But I've sat down in Pakistani and Iraqi mosques with Muslim fundamentalists, and they offered the same defense: they're just applying God's word.

Now, I've often written that blue staters should be less snooty toward fundamentalist Christians, and I realize that this column will seem pretty snooty. But if I praise the good work of evangelicals - like their superb relief efforts in Darfur - I'll also condemn what I perceive as bigotry. A dialogue about faith must move past taboos and discuss differences bluntly. That's what blue staters and red staters need to do about religion and the Left Behind books.

For starters, it's worth pointing out that those predicting an apocalypse have a long and lousy record. In America, tens of thousands of followers of William Miller waited eagerly for Jesus to reappear on Oct. 22, 1844. Some of these Millerites had given away all their belongings, and the no-show was called the Great Disappointment.

In more recent times, the best-selling nonfiction book of the 1970s was Hal Lindsey's The Late Great Planet Earth, selling 18 million copies worldwide with its predictions of a Second Coming. Then, one of the hottest best sellers in 1988 was a booklet called 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988. Oops.

Being wrong has rarely been so lucrative.

Now we have the hugely profitable Left Behind financial empire, whose Web site flatly says that the authors "think this generation will witness the end of history." The site sells every Left Behind spinoff imaginable, including screen savers, regular prophecies sent to your mobile phone, children's versions of the books, audiobooks, graphic novels, videos, calendars, music and a $6.50-a-month prophesy club. This isn't religion, this is brand management.

If Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins honestly believe that the end of the world may be imminent, why not waive royalties? Why don't they use the millions of dollars in profits to help the poor - and increase their own chances of getting into heaven?

Mr. Jenkins told me that he gives 20 to 40 percent of his income to charity, and that's commendable. But there are millions more where that came from. Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins might spend less time puzzling over obscure passages in the Book of Revelation and more time with the straightforward language of Matthew 6:19, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth." Or Matthew 19:21, where Jesus advises a rich man: "Sell your possessions and give the money to the poor. . . . It will be hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

So I challenge the authors to a bet: if the events of the Apocalypse arrive in the next 10 years, then I'll donate $500 to the battle against the Antichrist; if it doesn't, you donate $500 to a charity of my choosing that fights poverty - and bigotry.

Gentlemen, do we have a deal?

i doubt it. if the apocalypse is happening, it's because the u.s. is invading innocent countries and murdering civilians and reveling in it. half this fucking country rolls around in that like dogs in shit: smite those fucking infidels, kill those people.

just not unborn babies. born babies are cool, tho - so long as they are brown. and grown-ups, who are fully mature people who are part of a living community and whose lives impact so many others? kill 'em. send 'em overseas to die. or make them live like slaves in parody of the ideals of democracy.

'cause it's the amerikkkan way.

you're welcome



BADSIGNAL today:

Thanksgiving: when everyone in Britain gives thanks for our ancestors having sent all the religious freaks to America.

You're welcome.

i think maybe that accounts for why i hate thanksgiving. that and the genocide, of course.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

another embarrassing admission.



i like mind numbing trance music.

and i found the best trance track ever made:

"out of the blue" by system f, extended mix.

the combination of the old school 80's drum kit (reminiscent of harder techno a la leftfield) with the energetic uplifting, soaring melody associated with trance music... makes you feel high on life (even without the other products that normally make you high). the song has a very "we are the champions" feel to it, except with cartwheels and pogoing. it sounds like the music one would hear in the last moments of a hotly contested marathon race... in amime land.

other fun happy tracks that will make you trip without trippin':
"southern sun" - paul oakenfold (dj tiesto remix)
"synaesthesia" - thrillseekers (darude ramix)
"silence"(2000) - delerium (dj tiesto remix)
"remember" - BT (the version on the "hackers" soundtrack, vol. 2)
"dark and long" - underworld (dark train remix - it's in the film "trainspotting")

i propose starting a new grassroots initiative to make "out of the blue" our new national anthem. or at least my entrance music for graduation (yeah, i want my own entrance music!). for reals.

agh!



the far right and the far left are both trippin'. i feel like i'm watching a fucked up version of a duke/carolina game. although, as a carolina fan, i think duke is a pile of poop... there are idiot fans of ours that act like a bunch of children, and it makes us all look like twats. that's kind of how i feel about that article.

CPoY59



today, bOING-bOING pointed out the 59th winner of the College Photographer of the Year. it was a remarkable shoot, no doubt.

i was more impressed with the subject matter of the Honorable Mention work by mike kane (u-tx), which deals with anti-immigration militia patrols.

i can't judge the artistic merits of one entry against another when it comes to this level of talent. i do think perhaps the winner of CPoY59, elyse butler (brooks school of photography), is, in fact, a better artist. her work is amazing.

but the content of kane's work is just remarkable, just truly incredible.

kudos also to uwe h. martin (u-hanover), another honourable mention, whose photos include a lovely first section on life in bangladesh and a fairly brave second section on sex reassignment.

thanks, bOING-bOING!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

BADSIGNAL strikes again



warren ellis has posted a followup:

NOTE: PEOPLE WHO WANT TO UNSUBSCRIBE NEED TO LEARN TO USE THE INSTRUCTION AT THE END OF THE MAIL.

Also, for those who haven't grasped that my country's been under terrorist threat for decades: use of the word "terrorist" is not in itself inherently terroristic or "shocking".

"Terroristic" is a new American bureaucrat word I've discovered.

I have been indundated with requests for Fuckable Terrorist t-shirts, too.

Five hours sleep, thanks to the bloody postman. Have been approached to script-doctor an anime, which would be interesting. No details until/if I get a contract.

Some interesting possibilities re: GLOBAL FREQUENCY have recently arisen. We live in hope.

---
Sent from mobile device
probably from the pub

this post can be rewritten as "brits think half of america are fucking wankers", which is essentially correct.

i, too, wish a fuckable terrorist t-shirt. oh yes.

revulsion



i was just searching the web for something and ran into a website that carries fucking nazi news network.

no, like real nazis. the good ol' american kind (you get no link - not even their name). i think nearly every third word i saw before i managed to navigate away from the site was "jew".

i'm going to get some coffee to get this taste out of my mouth, then watch tonari no totoro and then bound to get those images out of my head before i'm forced to go and "curb" some skinhead bitches.

nota bene: link to interactive map of hate groups active in the us and in massachusetts. and in case you feel motivated to do something useful.

Why I Hate Flying



i refuse to fly united anymore because i was subjected to the super-extra-special-search procedure every damned time i got on one of their airplanes since september 11th. i know i should at least register an official complaint to let them know why i am no longer a customer of theirs, but like many of the people mentioned in this article, i don't want to draw attention to myself for fear of creating bigger problems when flying in the future.

i feel like we are living in the panopticon more and more every day.

Killing Darwin



another school district plans to teach Creationism as a 'science.'

alien versus predator. the poem.



as usual, mcsweeney's has some of the most brilliant and yet totally, inscrutably insane shit out there.

i think i'm high just from reading that.

warren ellis strikes again...



warren ellis (transmetropolitan et al.) sends out this weird missive called BADSIGNAL. they never cease to shock and amuse. i just got this little note in my inbox (quoted in its entirety):

If I did a webcomic, I would entitle it FUCKABLE TERRORIST.

And I would have t-shirts made.

And all the internet children would be walking around in t-shirts that read FUCKABLE TERRORIST.

And it would be good.

Just saying.

-- W

ah, warren, it would, wouldn't it?

warren is not a shy guy. back in january of this year, he sent out the following message (as usual, with no apparent prompt or reason for it):

If you think Britney Spears is sexy, you're a probable paedophile who masturbates over the imagined sound of Minnie Mouse having an orgasm.

That is all. Return to your duties.

-- W

i nearly died laughing when i opened my email and found that little love-letter.

i fucking love warren ellis. thank the six-titted mother of the tcho-tcho his twisted brain exists - just check out his work and you'll see what i mean.

if you'd like to know more about his work or just sign up onto the BADSIGNAL list, you know what to do...

Monday, November 22, 2004

so i'm a socialist.



so i took the OkCupid! politics test what em2 took. i agree what it's problematic, but in the meantime, here are my results.


The General Is Not Speaking



how sad. there was such a fascinating exchange going on.

highlights:

I think 99 out of a 100 strait guys would tell you that they don't think another mans penis in his ass is the same as a sex toy or a woman's finger.
oh dear. at least you can't say i didn't warn you.

sinclair sits pretty



this drives me batty. sinclair broadcasting, the hacks who are being sued for frelling its investors for blatantly political reasons, is spinning their losses into gains. link is here, but since it requires frelling registration i just reprint it here.

SINCLAIR SITS PRETTY
Broadcaster Planning More Political Programs

Michael Learnmonth, Variety, 20041104 1839h EDT

New York - Sinclair Broadcasting said its controversial program on John Kerry's war record was hugely profitable for the company, so much so that it intends to produce more such shows from its centralized news operation near Baltimore.

Fewer ad spots were sold during POW Story: Politics, Pressure and the Media, which caused the outrage of liberal groups, but the ads sold at a higher rate. Ratings were higher for the show, and the uptick seems permanent.

"We made more revenue on that show than we would have otherwise across our platform," said Sinclair topper David Smith. "The lesson learned is that the central news structure we've created has the capability of producing relevant content and we are convinced we can make more money in other dayparts."

Sinclair Broadcasting caused a political firestorm last month when it announced it would air parts of anti-Kerry documentary Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal as part of a show examining the Democratic nominee's war record two weeks before the general election.

Kerry supporters and media fairness groups demanded equal time from Sinclair, which owns 62 TV stations across the country. Sinclair declined to give a pro-Kerry doc equal time but integrated parts of Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry into its broadcast.

During the controversy, Sinclair endured an advertiser boycott, thousands of calls flooding its switchboards and two threatened shareholders suits.

But Smith, a major Republican contributor, told analysts in a conference call that the publicity generated by the flap could be worth "tens of millions of dollars" in promotional value.

Ratings up across board

He said ratings were up across the station group as a result of the controversy. "My guess is we're going to keep a lot of that, and the long-term value is going to be huge," he said.

POW Story was the first broadcast of its kind produced by Sinclair's centralized news operation, which pumps out news and commentary to Sinclair stations across the country.

But Smith said the news arm demonstrated an ability to generate good content and higher revenues, and "we expect to exploit that to the fullest on an ongoing basis."

News is sure to inflame Sinclair's critics, who say the station owner used the public airwaves for its own political agenda. But Smith says the majority of calls to the station group after the show said the documentary had been pro-Kerry. And Sinclair has the backing of First Amendment groups who may not all agree with the message, but say the free speech issue trumps any obligation to present balance. Smith said he expects deregulation to continue in President Bush's second term. Sinclair's business strategy is to squeeze costs out of the business by owning multiple stations in single markets.

"I don't think the administration at this point is going to do anything," he said. "The courts are in control of the entire process at this point."

via badvertisers

Land Grab



david neiwert has a post over at The American Street about a growing movement to undermine the sovereignty of native american tribes.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Best RPGs



in emily0's collection:

Devil Bunny Wants A Ham

blurb:
You and your friends are living pleasant and complete lives in Happyville. You are highly trained and well-paid sous-chefs who have decided to climb to the top of a tall building as fast as you can.

Devil Bunny Needs a Ham. And he's pretty sure that knocking you off the building will help him get one.

Perhaps he is right. Perhaps he is not.

*and*

Devil Bunny Hates The Earth

blurb:
You and your friends are hard-working candy machines in Devil Bunny's factory.

Devil Bunny hates the Earth.

And so he has decided to wreak his revenge upon the Globe by manufacturing a very unsatisfying brand of saltwater taffy.

You must stop him. Even though you are aware that his plan has almost no chance of success.

By luring innocent squirrels into the factory and using them to gum up your own works, you hope to stop Devil Bunny's plan from coming to its unlikely end.

It is a desperate plan, but it seems appropriate given the circumstances.

HOL: Human Occupied Landfill (Speaks for itself)

Kobolds Ate My Baby!

blurb:
You and your friends take on the roles of Kobolds (short, furry cannon fodder with a penchant for gluttony and mayhem). Your mission is to raid towns and villages in search of the most delectable of Kobold treats - Babies! Along the way, you will learn forbidden magicks, face fearsome chickens, worship the Big Red God, die Random Horrible Deaths and cook your friends for dinner!
Macho Women With Guns
blurb:
Whether you enjoy pulling on tight shorts and leaping across chasms to recover lost treasures of the ancient world or simply blasting bug-eyed aliens intent on taking over the Earth, there is nothing in a typical B-movie that cannot be made better with Macho Women with Guns!
not in emily0's collection (yet):

Junk: The Redneck Wargame RRG

blurb:
Built from scavenged materials. Armed with jury-rigged weapons. Piloted by rednecks. Powered by beer! On the junkyard planet of Joisey, the 'Can is king! So, power-up your porta-potty cannon, turn up the country music, and get ready to rumble in this game of mechanized combat in a less-than-intelligent future!

quick poot



[warning! not very subtle elitism ahead... but it's that time of year!]

*giggle!*

well, admittedly, yale was going to control the government either way, and it has been controlling the government since 1988 (albeit stolen from harvard in 2000 - with a little help from those player-haters, stanford), but i'm gonna *giggle* anyway.

sorry i didn't show up in boston. blame fed courts.

this is my contribution to the shit talk: hey, you guys might control the government, but if you meet us in the playground after school, we'll whup your asses and send you back to new haven. and we'll even meet you and YOUR playground, and we'll still kick your asses! ;)

and to add to the "healing watch" meme (although this game was a walk in the park, unlike the u.s. elections): love and one night stands conquer all rivalries.

constitutional law question



i decided to read the u.s. constitution before tackling any more of fed courts, because it is generally a good idea to do so, and i came across something interesting, but unrelated to fed courts.

22nd amendment, u.s. constitution, section 1: "no person shall be elected to the office of president more than twice..."

i italicied "elected," because i want to point out the difference in language in article II: "no person except a natural born citizen... shall be eligible for the office of president." this means - in no way shape or form may anyone born in a foreign country become president of the united states. if you were born in say... uh... austria... you're done.

there is one other way you can end up being president of the united states: if the president dies, resigns, or is removed and you happen to be vice-president. in that case, you assume the office of president. i don't see anything preventing a two-term president being able to be elected vice-president.

i guess the closest thing to that is the 12th amendment, which says: "no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of president shall be eligible to that of the vice-president of the united states."

it is clear that foreign born folks are completely and totally ineligible to become president or vice-president. you're negged. done. over.

but the word i'm poring over is "elected" and also the fact that the 22nd amendment was written after the 12th amendment and of course, article II. if the folks who wrote the 22nd amendment really wanted to preclude people from assuming the presidency in no uncertain terms, shouldn't they have used the language in article II, like "you're not eligible to be president if you served to terms already"?

ineligibility is absolute. but being elected president is only one of the ways you can be president.

is there a loophole in the constitution?

because how i read it... clinton can run for vice-president, and then the president can resign, and clinton would be president. and there would be nothing barring him from being president, because he wouldn't have been elected to that office.

or... if jeb runs for president and dubya for vp... and NO! too scary! must go to bed!

okay, someone figure this out for me. it's 5:30am. yeah i'm a dork, and this has nothing to do with fed courts.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

time wasting, night 2



it has come to my attention that i am so very screwed for the "federal courts" exam. my friend has described the course as "conflicts of law on crack." "conflicts of law" is supposedly the hardest course at school. my friend is taking both, and she said "conflicts of law" is not as difficult as "federal courts," and she aced constitutional law, so i believe her. "federal courts" is pretty much advanced constitutional law and civil procedure... on crack. (an aside: it's common knowledge that supreme court justices have several doctrines at their disposal to interpret the constitution - and to avoid interpreting the constitution - but you can't just say "hey, the court decided that this plaintiff didn't have standing, because it's too hot a topic to decide, so they ducked the question and chose an exit route" which is probably the most correct assessment - you have to reconcile how the supreme court came to their conclusion on 'case a' with how they came to the opposite conclusion on 'case b' even though both cases tackled similar issues and the facts of 'case a' should have pointed to the same conclusion as 'case b.' constitutional law is a clusterfuck. the possibilities and permutations are almost endless.). i really don't know how i got suckered into taking it. supposedly, it satisfies some intellectual property graduation requirement, but i have learned that this is a myth. THANKS A LOT! this blows.

i spent the last four hours starting a "federal courts" outline. i got through the third case before i decided to make a mix cd. if you think emily1 should be embarrassed about enjoying jefferson starship's "we built this city," please take note of the abomination below:

i hereby present, "the 90's: EXTREME(tm) CHEESE!"

wilson phillips "hold on"
amy grant "baby baby"
mr. big "to be with you"
poison "every rose has its thorn"
tom cochrane "life is a highway"
extreme "more than words"
sinead o'connor "nothing compares 2 u"
shanice "i love your smile"
sophie b. hawkins "damn, i wish i was your lover"
pm dawn "set adrift on memory bliss"
duran duran "come undone"
the cure "friday i'm in love"
spin doctors "two princes"
guns n' roses "november rain"
lisa loeb "stay"
aerosmith "i don't wanna miss a thing"
savage garden "truly madly deeply"

FUCK YEAH!!! EXTREME!!!!!!

okay, bad 90's music contest... in the comments! go!!!

[just a note... i have a 5 cd 90's dance party mix i made last week, including "what is love" by haddaway, "u can't touch this" by mc hammer, "ice ice baby" by vanilla ice, "baby got back" by sir mix a lot, "all 4 love" by color me badd and "jump! jump!" by kriss kross, and many many many more... so this contest ain't no walk in the park. :D :D :D]

this is also probably the only time you will see the "standing doctrine" and "baby got back" in the same place at the same time.

p.s. perhaps, just perhaps, i will make an "absolute worst of the 90's" cd. if readers, posters, lurkers, etc. can pick the 15 worst songs from the 90's, i might make said compilation.

Friday, November 19, 2004

a night of time wasting



since i am more or less non-functional at the moment, i decided to take a bunch of online quizzes on "ok cupid." so far, i have discovered that i am a "buzz hunter," i.e. a person who loves to drink bunches but doesn't quite have a drinking problem (as i sit here nursing a hangover from last night's law school open bar). i also took the politics quiz.

you are a

social liberal - 66% permissive

and an...

economic moderate - 55% permissive

you are best described as a: centrist [yeah, i know... sue me]

you exhibit a very well-developed sense of right and wrong and believe in economic fairness. [yep, marketing "ice beers" as "ice beers" but clandestinely pouring water back into ice beers to meet regulations of alcohol content is wrong. so wrong! however, the victoria's secret catalog being able to stalk me and find me wherever i move is not creepy -- it's so *right!*]

this graphic is a relief. i am elated to report that i am not a fascist.


here, we have two axes. "ecomonically permissive" and "lly permissive." i believe the latter is supposed to be "socially" but it could be "totally" or even "vaginally." you never know what's under the dot!


in this photo, i am in the center of some bizarre bermuda triangle of john kerry, martin luther king, and donald trump. all of them have funny hair. if one of you could take the test and tell me whose head i am directly over, i would appreciate it. right now, it looks vaguely like adam sandler, but that makes no sense.


and now we have the ubiquitous "red/blue" scatter map. i'm still true blue, biotches! shimmy shimmy ya!


again, the link is here: http://www.okcupid.com/politics

shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

you call this "fair & balanced"



i must respectfully disagree with my coem'ly. her recent post cited a certain website, peakTalk, as being "fair & balanced". upon perusal of said site, i see a post entitled bush goes north which reads as follows:

George Bush is going to pay an official visit to Canada later this month and his hosts, rather than thinking through important bi-lateral issues, are now focused on discussing the risk of certain members of parliament heckling Bush during a speech he might give in the House of Commons. The conservative opposition is at pains to avoid this and are calling on the potential troublemakers to think through the consequences of interrupting and jeering the US President. A typical Canadian reaction: let’s try and keep things nice. I completely disagree. If Bush ever wanted to score a publicity coup in Canada and reveal how depraved and clueless the anti-Americans in parliament are, then there’s no better way than to let them make fools of themselves during what will surely be a smart and well-crafted speech. Bring'em on!
this does not seem "fair & balanced". this seems like the usual patriotic(tm) demagoguery.

do we support the president? do we support his agenda? do we think those who are opposed to the policies of the republican government jeering the president to be "depraved"? do we think they are "clueless"?

nice.

peakTalk might say things that don't offend liberals on some occasions, but i don't see how that establishes them as "fair & balanced". "fair & balanced" isn't "only sometimes offensive".

good blog



peaktalk - i don't know how i ended up on it, but it's very well written and a voice of reason. it says a lot of things that i want to say, except with more thought and with less screaming and snark. i'm all for screaming and snark, but sometimes you just want to process and think. i think it is one of the only media outlets out there (traditional and non-traditional, including blogs)i have come across that truly abides by the tagline "fair and balanced."

mix tape alert!



i walk crosstown on 14th street pretty much every day, and there is a booth between 5th and 6th avenue that sells hip hop dj mix cds. usually, i pass by without noticing. after all, you can only play the hot 97 playlist in so many permutations. most of the cd's are nothing but ripped tracks burned on cd's (like the popular hot 97 blazin hip-hop and r&b mix cds) but today the beats were different. it was a new eminem track, "never enough" and it was segueing into "higher" by the game. see, some djs know how to arrange songs, and some do not. (yes, there is an art to this.) anyway, this one knew what he was doing. so much so that i stood there for fifteen minutes, along with four or five strangers, who were also bobbing their heads up and down. then i realized i was late for my internship, so i bought the cd. this doesn't usually happen; i don't buy cd's. it was only $5. gotta love ny. anyhow, i'm listening to the entire cd right now, and it's pretty damn good. the first half has a dark urban epic feel to it.

it is on sale here - they appear to have changed a couple of the tracks. they substituted the eminem track for track 3.

i leave you with some lyrics from a new destiny's child track, "soldier," which puts the final nail in the coffin for the metrosexual:

love how he keep my body screamin'
A rude boy that's good to me, wit street credibility
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street


the "queer eye" era is so over.

okay back to work.

Open Content Euphoria



U.S. vows 30M newspaper pages to go on Net

By CARL HARTMAN
ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER

WASHINGTON -- The government promises anyone with a computer will have access within a few years to millions of pages from old newspapers, a slice of American history to be viewed now only by visiting local libraries, newspaper offices or the nation's capital.

The first of what's expected to be 30 million digitized pages from papers published from 1836 through 1922 will be available in 2006.

"Anyone who's interested - teachers, students, historians, lawyers, politicians, even newspaper reporters - will be able to go to their computer at home or at work and at a click of a mouse get immediate, unfiltered access to the greatest source of our history," said Bruce Cole, chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities. He announced the project in a speech at the National Press Club.

Now, the only way to view the old papers is to pore through many thousands of microfilm reels at the Library of Congress, regional libraries and newspaper offices.

The Library of Congress already has put together a small sample. It has digitized issues of the U.S. military newspaper "Stars and Stripes" during World War I, February 1918 to June 1919.

Cole said the National Digital Newspaper Program is to further the founding fathers' belief that knowledge of history was a necessity for government by the people.

"American amnesia is dangerous," he said. "Democracy is not self-sustaining; it needs to be learned and passed down from generation to generation. We have to know our great founding principles, how our institutions came into being, how they work, what our rights and responsibilities are."

The National Endowment for the Humanities is working on the project with the Library of Congress, which has embarked on a broader project to preserve records of American newspapers dating from the late 1600s.

The span of the joint project is limited because type faces of printers used before 1836 are too difficult for optical scanners to read, and copyright restrictions are in force on papers published after 1923.

Cole said the new program is a cornerstone of an undertaking called "We the People," supported by President Bush and Congress to improve the teaching of American history at all levels of education.

[link via boing boing]

yes, i quoted the article in its entirety. that is quite against the rules. however, i hate link rot. the internet is a constantly changing thing. i do hate those 404 pages that show up six months after i write a post.

heh. anyway, i was ecstatic to hear of this project. it's something i've wanted for a long while -- all public domain newspapers accessible on the web. blogging would become so much more erudite if one could sift through the documents of public discourse past.

i even thought of scanning some old newspapers from a large university library near my apartment. i've always wondered how coarse presidential campaigns were in years past. it would be interesting to compare journalism then and now. i have a feeling that in its own way, the media of yesteryear was just as torrid and conspiratorial, and just as nasty as it is today.

Yowsa



rammstein and ascii war animation - via boing boing

expressing bottled-up anger using secret code language in corporate emails - via boing boing

boing boing is totally smokin' today.

Fucking Freepers



read.

The Cockles of My Heart Are Warmed



Let there be peace

Gary Jimenez's faith in American values has been restored, thanks to a kind deed by an anonymous Republican. Last Saturday, Jimenez discovered two slashed tires on his Volvo station wagon, parked on Friars Road, with a note telling him to remove his pro-Kerry bumper stickers.

On Tuesday, when Jimenez checked his mailbox at Clairemont High School, where he teaches English and journalism, he found an envelope containing $200 and an unsigned note that said:

As a Clairemont High alum and a Republican, I was angered about the story about your tires. Please take this money and get yourself some new radials. Teachers are the only hope for the world.

"I was pleasantly shocked," says Jimenez. "That kind of gesture restores your faith in people and emphasizes that there are a lot of good Republican people out there."

Jimenez, who stays in touch with several of his former high school students fighting in Iraq, had planned to send a care package to a young military man named Angel Jimenez (no relation), who twice has called him from Iraq during class time. The teacher was disappointed that he'd have to use that money instead to replace his damaged tires. Thanks to the unknown donor, however, that care package will now go out after all.

eeeentaresteeeeng....



looks like kim jong-il is up to something. what would possess an egomaniac to remove his image from public displays? i think he's going to revamp his image. maybe he's going to pull a michael jackson and bleach his skin. or maybe he'll change his name to a symbol like prince did. or maybe he'll pull a christina aguilera and come back as "dirrty kim."

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

random poo



people are trippin' over a monday night football short spoofing a new television series, "desperate housewives".

was it risque enough to warrant a janet jackson boobgate level outcry? you decide. (hint: it's pretty tame, actually)

also on ifilm: the crazy taiwanese christian zealot who jumped into the lions' pit to convert the lions to christianity. even if it takes you an hour to download this one, watch it. i almost spat my water out laughing. the zoo keeper is like "who is this douchebag?"

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

i can think of more useful rice than condoleezza...



arborio rice - useful for making risotto!

basmati rice - useful for making scrumptious indian dishes!

jasmine rice - useful for asian-themed cooking! this page tells you all about using jasmine rice in thai cooking. :)

condi rice only takes orders from the president. that's no fun, not very useful, and definitely not yummy.

the question is:



will colin powell fade quietly into the background, or is there a tell-all book in the works? the man is probably being stalked by literary agents like paris hilton is stalked by the paparazzi.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Fallujah In Pictures



make some posters of the photos here and shove them in the faces of a group of dipshits protesting an abortion clinic somewhere.

from one of those peace-loving, pro-democracy bush supporters who can't be arsed to post under a handle:

Fuck you you left wing pansy fucks.....why don't you post shots of all the torture rooms and underground torture chambers they are finding?? You left wing fucking shitheads, I fucking hate you....death to you all...this country is getting rid of them, and then we are coming for every fucking one of you, then maybe we can get some sanity in this fucked up world....until then, watch your fucking backs, cause we got the guns, not you..and we believe in preemptive strikes, not you....sleep well...
underground torture chambers and rape rooms?

gee, what ever happened to those images of rape and murder at abu ghraib that good old rummy mentioned last spring? you know. the ones that were far far worse than the images we've already seen? i guess they were able to sweep those under the rug by banning digital cameras and monitoring the internet activities of the military in iraq. man, what i wouldn't give to see rummy look like he was about to fill his underwear again. now, there's a grown man i'd like to see pissing his pants.

Krauthammer Is Full Of Shit



to the shitbag who said the bigoted christian redneck was a myth:

The elephant in the room: GOP schism

Many moderates say they no longer feel invited to the party

A win doesn't mean that all is well in the Republican Party.

Though their candidate came out ahead on Nov. 2, some moderate Republicans are as despondent as Democrats. While Christian conservatives have been credited with turning out like-minded voters in crucial swing states, many moderates say they have been marginalized.

"There is no future for moderate and progressive Republicans in the Republican Party," said Jim Scarantino, president of the centrist GOP group Mainstream 2004. "The far right wing and the fanatics have seized control."

Mr. Scarantino isn't sure where his brand of Republican politics fits into the GOP. Some Christian conservatives say it doesn't.

"If they can't agree and support the president and the platform, then they ought to go over to the Democrats," said Jan LaRue, chief counsel for the conservative group Concerned Women for America.

After President Bush's re-election, evangelicals were quickly branded the "it" political group. They have taken a two-week victory lap, appearing around the clock on cable news networks while touting a conservative social agenda.

Out of the spotlight and largely overlooked, some moderates said they feel like politicians without a party.

Issues such as gay marriage and abortion have exposed fissures in the majority party, as conservatives push for what they call "pro-family" policies and moderates urge renewed focus on fiscal conservatism.

Evangelicals have been quick to seize on their moment in the spotlight, launching efforts to expand their influence and criticizing Republicans who don't toe the conservative line on social issues.

The Rev. Jerry Falwell announced plans last week for an "evangelical revolution," forming the Faith and Values Coalition, which he described as a resurrection of the Moral Majority.

And conservatives accused Sen. Arlen Specter of disloyalty when the Pennsylvania Republican suggested that the Senate might reject anti-abortion judicial nominees. Evangelical groups urged Mr. Specter's colleagues to reject his bid to become chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

more....

i actually said before that i thought the GOP's gay-bashing was a means to get the vote out in safe red states. translation: it was part of a strategy for winning the popular vote. ever since election night, the media has been furiously back-pedaling on the 'values vote' meme, but the bigoted christians i excoriated in the post that got your knickers in a twist are practically throwing a rapture party over their new-found power. despite your claim that they are a fantasized construction of liberal paranoia, they are clearly convinced that the GOP owes them something.

i'm sick of you whiny bitches showing up at lefty blogs to brandish your moderate credentials whenever one of us writes a rant about the bible-thumpers and their crusade against the homos.

"Waa waa waaa!!!! You forgot about MEEEEE!!!!!! I'm a moooooooderrraaaatteeeeeeeee!!!!! I'm not like that!!!! Waaa Waaa Waaa!!!!"

you don't like the idea of being forced to pay child support to the crotch-rotted sorority bimbo you picked up at last weekend's vomit-fest because the snake-handlers want to outlaw abortion? pull your damned head out of the ass of the farm animal that you're currently jerking off and let the republican party know you are not jiggy with the jesus-freaks and ass-sniffers taking over.

i never said all rednecks are bigoted and/or christian. i'm acutely aware that assholism is an equal opportunity affliction. i'm quite sure that a lot of hell-bound, sinning, bigoted fucknuts voted against the fags and dykes on november 3rd. they too are on my fuck-you radar, as emily2 put it.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

keep your jesus off my penis...



...and i'll keep my penis off of youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

[via oliver willis]

school mandates alternative evolution theory



check this

With a vote last month, the school board in rural south-central Pennsylvania community is believed to have become the first in the nation to mandate the teaching of "intelligent design," which holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by an unspecified higher power.
ya know, using that logic, then this laptop i'm using must have been created by a heavenly being, because i'm too stupid to know how to build one or to understand how that annoying microsoft word buddy icon keeps popping up asking me if i want to learn how to write a letter. go away, stupid animated paper clip, or i'll pray that you will be eaten by animated microsoft lions, and then you'll be sorry!

at some point in our history, we thought that demons caused illnesses. then someone invented the microscope, and we learned that bacteria and viruses caused diseases. and then someone figured out that penicillin stopped people from being sick better than sticking leeches on their limbs. et cetera.

science is a good thing. it keeps us from being mired in ignorance and mediocrity. it can be our friend, really.

From Our Trackometer



a google search for 'iraqi whipped naked breast scream captive hostage' directed someone to this website. not that i should assume anything, but if this is what someone considers jerk-off material, i think i'm gonna be sick.

insomnia



insomnia hits me hard and frequent.

i essentially hate going to bed for several reasons.

first, some medications i take make me wake up hung over. i don't drink, always been straight-edge kind of gal, so this particularly peeves me. can you imagine waking up every day hung over, only you don't drink? ever?

second, the human body isn't set to the current rotation of the earth; our natural, 'free-wheeling' circadian clock would prefer the day be about 27 hours long. ah, for the days when the earth was younger and that bit of our brain was last set...

we also have cats, and about the time we like to sleep they like to keep me awake by doing all manner of inventive things: digging in the catbox, climbing all over me, scratching on my door, racing around like idiots; the usual.

the essential problem isn't any of those things, though they each help a lot. rather, i have a magpie mind. it likes shiny things, it doesn't like to rest. better, perhaps, to call it by the zen name, the monkey mind. i don't want to sleep. i want to stay awake and do things.

*sigh* so now i'm just hanging around at 4:18 am and all i can think about is proto-dravidian, the mountains of anatolia & the hittite language.

and reindeer - i seem forever obsessed with reindeer, or caribou as we prefer to call them here in north america.

damnit.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

obituaries this week...



first, yasser arafat. (i'm not going to go there.)

now, the ol' dirty bastard. goodbye, russell jones. you were erratic, undependable, and most likely insane, but damn did i spend quite a few moments hopping around to "hey, dirty, baby i got your money" and "ghetto supastar." thanks, and r.i.p.

Our Newest Troll



hey, folks! look! we got a visit from a denizen of darwin's waiting room today. like all good simians, he screeches, scratches his ass, suffers from an obsession with his microscopic penis, and can't resist going onto someone else's blog and throwing shit all over the place. someone, please donate a few extra iq points to the poor bastard.

A Tale Of An iBook, A Ditch, and A Mall



em0, having gone without her own computer for more than a month, could barely contain herself wednesday. she finally had the pile of cash necessary to purchase a replacement for her intermittently troublesome ibook. or rather, *i* had her pile of cash. some weeks earlier i had agreed to buy her 1994 saturn, but i held the money until she saved the remainder of the new ibook's purchase price.

last weekend, that day arrived, but owing to an intractable computer science assignment i was not able to go with her to buy the computer. like a small dog with a chew toy and an undiagnosed neurosis, she nipped and yipped to go buy this computer. i offered to go to the bank and withdraw the money, but she wanted taxi service to the mac store.

not that i like driving through the never-ending construction hell-hole that is kendall square or anything. em0 also promply forgot how to get there. after driving around several times, we decided to stop and ask directions. i pulled over to the side of the road, where there was an open ditch in which the car promptly became stuck.

of course, there were no road cones or any other such devices to warn unsuspecting drivers of this ditch, which could not be seen until the last minute if one were say, driving directly facing an intense glare of early afternoon sunlight. a cop tried to help us get the car out, but it became clear that a call to AAA was warranted. the befuddled woman on the other end tried to take down my details when i looked up to see a group of burly construction workers surrounding my car. before i could say anything, they lifted the car up and out of the ditch without the aid of any equipment whatsoever.

em0 found our way to the mall. i tried to pay for the computer at the mac store with my debit/credit card, but it was declined because the purchase price of the computer was more than the maximum withdrawal limit for that day. go figure. i paid for it with a real credit card and did an electronic payment from my band account to the credit card account online.

the mac store is a beautiful store, with soft lights and beautiful machines laid out like gourmet dishes. however, until i can buy all the parts i need to build one for 300-400, i will continue to run a linux box. which is too bad because new macs are all linux boxes now. they have merely taken the rough edges off linux and made it into a user-friendly OS. i'm still not sure if something will work when i try to run a program that came with my suse distro.

we pioneers have it so hard.