Tuesday, May 22, 2007

let them eat cake saltines and kraft spread



i think i can explain the ron paul phenomenon. a couple of weeks ago, ron paul was the most searched-for person on technorati. this means that more people wanted to know about a wacky long shot contender for the white house than to see britney spears' and paris hilton's upskirt photos. what could have caused such a drastic upheaval in the american psyche?

i recall an episode of "survivor." i don't remember what season, but they're all the same anyway, so it hardly matters. at some point in this particular episode, the host tortures the remaining contestants with treats behind blind boxes. the boxes could contain food, or nothing at all. the contestants have been eating nothing but coconuts for the last few weeks. one contestant chooses a box that ends up containing saltines and processed cheese. she is so happy she can barely contain herself. all of the other contestants are jealous.

a person who has not been stuck on an island for a month eating nothing but coconuts would probably pass on saltines and crappy low grade cheese spread. but to a person who has been sleeping on dirt, eating coconut after coconut, and being bitten by tropical insects for weeks, saltines and cheese spread sounds like a feast worthy of the james beard award.

the american public has been fed nothing but coconuts for the last few years, and along comes a strange man who is willing to offer cheese and crackers. of course the american public would bite!

note: even kossacks are biting. and some freepers. and ron paul supporters are crawling out of every crevice to troll LGF. like, neocons are so over!

here's the deal. giuliani and clinton are a couple of indistinguishable coconuts if you think about it. the debates are going to be boring. if we can't have filet mignon, we can at least throw in mr. saltines and kraft aerosol cheese to liven things up a bit. it would be excellent if he could draw pie charts in the debates as well.

2 comments:

Michael Donahue said...

Ron Paul is such a spoiler for the usual suspects, it's fun to see people try to say something negative about him.

Pseudolife said...

You know how I became a fan of Ron Paul? I accidentally caught a quick glimpse of him on Youtube and that was it... I was in love. While I don't immediatly agree with all of his opinions, his intelligence and honesty won my heart. Our country has been in trouble for quite a few years now, and Ron Paul suggests we withdraw everything and regroup at home. To collect ourselve and regain our status as a respectable country. His ideas aren't as looney as everyone says either, they're well grounded and educated ideas! History teachers always say that the importance of knowing your history is so that you can learn from the past... I think that Congressman Paul has learned this lesson well.

Ron Paul isn't craft cheese from the bottle... he's a well spoken man who deserves credit where its due! I think the reason people are going crazy for him, is because he comes across as an ideal leader! He's smart to the point where when people try to trash him in interviews, he answers honestly and in a way that people actually understand! He doesn't side-step or hussle his audience, and dear god IT'S REFRESHING!