i laughed so hard i cried

this post is priceless.

Why is the President going on a bike ride when the economy has gone to shit, North Korea has nukes and an itch it use them, Russia is sliding back into tyranny, Iraq is the war that just keeps on going and my ass is considering selling eggs to pay for gas?

For the record, this bitch hasn’t been able to schedule down time since 1985.

Scooter, get your ass into the office and govern! This ain’t the time to be seen with a fucking safety helmet on your head cruising through the forest. What is this shit? It reminds my ass of Scooter’s first term, when he took to the ranch every other week like he needed a fucking break.

“It’s hard! It’s really hard work!”

Hey asshole! You wanted this job. You fucking lied and sold your soul for it. Gerald Ford got some slack for falling and looking like shit. But you! Yeah, you Scooter! You need to take this shit a little more serious. Fuck it, a lot more serious. You have about 2000 to-dos and, as one of your bosses, I expect more. Give me some Bill Clinton bags under the eyes and a little haggardness. Fake it, motherfucker! Because when you go out and bike in the middle of a war it pisses me the fuck off!

As for national security, a bitch has truly given that shit to God. The inmates are running the asylum and I simply can’t stress about it anymore. If you’ve got a plane in secure airspace, shoot it down. If you don’t want to shoot it down, don’t. But don’t try to sell me on some kind of "system". Please. A bitch knows that this was handled in the same "It’s not my call" cluster-fuck freak out that all decisions are processed through in government. I can see it - a bunch of generals using military terms to articulate that they have no fucking idea what to do or how to do it.

Jesus!

It’s like I reached the city on a hill and found out it was a fucking Hollywood set.

"give me some bill clinton bags under the eyes and a little haggardness. fake it, motherfucker!" HOOOHAHAHAHA! appreciate the brilliance of angry black bitch.