why i am the greatest worker bee ever

we get free coffee at work, but most of it tastes like petrochemicals. the only flavor that is drinkable is french vanilla, and for the past three weeks, the french vanilla coffee bin has been empty, leaving all residents of the office somewhat disgruntled. the non-dairy creamer also ran out, so there was nothing to mask the taste of the other flavors: hazelnut jet fuel, guatemalan gasoline, french freedom roast petro, liquid coal, and a mystery flavor that i shall dub "eXXtreme eXXon house blend." these flavors quickly ignite and burn through the mucous layer of the stomach, often becoming the driving force behind an impressive zero-to-sixty-in-ten-seconds run to the nearest loo.

morale was lagging. someone had to steo up to the plate.

and so yesterday i wrote in big letters on a blank sheet of paper:

"WE NEED MORE FRENCH VANILLA COFFEE (and creamer)"

and tacked it onto the refrigerator.

lo and behold, today i walked into the office and was met with shangri-la: an entire bin full of french vanilla coffee and a cabinet full of creamer.

it's THAT easy?!

i wonder what will happen if i wrote the following on a blank sheet of paper and tacked it on the refrigerator:

1) 50 bottles of perrier
2) 50 bottles of POM pomegranate juice
3) 10 cases of paulaner hefeweizen
4) 4 750ml bottles of patron silver
5) 1 pair of women's size seven adidas white on black samba k sneakers
6) a dell XPS laptop
7) a check for $86,978.00 made out to the federal government (attn: student loans)
8) karl rove's head on a stick (note to sender: please use several layers of bubble wrap)
9) the holy grail

oh, and i almost forgot...

10) world peace.