how to debate an ignoramus

oh the stupid questions by stupid people...

i got the "is the reason why you're a lesbian because a man touched you inappropriately?" question again. i cannot tell you how much i hate that question, because it's just well... all of the following: ignorant, irrelevant, illogical, idiotic, and a lot of other words that don't begin with the letter "i." (well, men have touched me incompetently before, but that's nowhere near the reason why i prefer the fairer sex. and women have also touched me incompetently and sometimes inappropriately, but that doesn't make me want to go anywhere near a wee wee.)

so listen up kiddies. the next time someone asks you that question, take a couple of seconds and think about bashing the moron over the head with a blunt object. (no, don't actually DO it. that's a crime. but thoughts certainly don't harm anyone!)

next, clear your throat and say the following:

Q: "is there any food that you just didn't like."

hypothetical A: "oh, brussel sprouts!"

Q: "well, did a gang of brussel sprouts ever attack you?"

or you can get to the point.

Q: "is the reason why you prefer the opposite sex because a member of the same sex molested you?"

or you can go for the kill.

if you are speaking to a man, say this:

"is the reason why you prefer women because your father raped you?"

if you are speaking to a woman, say this:

"is the reason why you prefer men because your mother raped you?"

oh the dumb conclusions people reach...