That Rageful Thing Again

the vicious bitch that lives inside my soul has a bad case of cabin fever. she's not content to seethe with all her borrowed grace _out of sight_. no, bitch wants an audience. she's the reason i have to be careful -- to live as an introvert, to avoid stress, to live quietly and contentedly on chocolate squares and cardamom-flavored lattes. if i didn't endeavor to live that way, she would spontaneously combust because that is her nature. life isn't easy when you have to carry around hazardous cargo in your soul. burning from the inside out is never a pleasant way to go. she has her little ways of letting me know when she's displeased. i undergo what can best be described as emotional indigestion. everything, and i do mean _everything_, makes me so very rageful.

i certainly can't blame any of this on PMS because that came and went, and my mood is not improved. i think i am tired. the thing i've noticed about working full time is that there never seems to be enough time to do everything. i'm not really complaining because i know i'm extremely lucky to have a job i like that pays me enough to survive. i meant to do my laundry this weekend. in fact, i meant to do my laundry last weekend. last weekend, my computer's motherboard and/or CPU were fried, and it took me most of a day to fix that. not to mention that last weekend was miserable. it was one of those blistering, swampy weekends when the rate of domestic violence shoots through the roof, and some guy shoots his buddy dead for drinking the last cold beer. now, i wouldn't actually kill anyone, but because of that vicious little stowaway in my soul, but i might be tempted to gouge out some eyeballs.

until last weekend, i had never actually installed a motherboard and CPU. now, i am truly a badass. before, i wasn't badass enough to really put together a computer entirely from scratch. I always bought the motherboard and CPU pre-installed in a case. i'm right proud of myself for all this, but it did result in the laundry remaining undone. i'm tired after work and doing laundry ranks right under getting a root canal in my list of fun and relaxing things to do after work.

i was really looking forward to doing nothing this weekend, but it was not to be. i also wanted to write a post about the democratic party, progressivism and the pressure from some 'liberals' to backtrack on women's issues. i wanted to pile on with my own reaction to the great daily kos pie fiasco. but there was always something else that had to be done. we had to drive to the mall to buy an airport express to replace our fried wireless router (the second router to be fried). then we had to drive back to the mall to replace it with a wireless base station with a WLAN outlet. although linux is truly bitchin' these days, it does not have good support for wireless technology, particularly USB wireless access cards. it only took me three hours of trawling google to determine there was no simple and easy way to get the wireless card to work.

i had to admit that my feelings towards the 'great revolution' of wireless technology are mixed. the hardware is expensive and it's a pain in the ass to deal with. having two routers get fried in a row hasn't done much to improve my opinion of it. so, i gave emily0 a really hard time about having to spend most of my saturday wrestling with this newfangled wireless crap when i never wanted it in the first place. after having to spend half of the last weekend dealing with hardware malfunction issues i was a really shitty mood at having to spend another huge chunk of my precious, scarce free time doing the same thing the very next weekend. so, em0, if anything happens to our latest wireless setup, you're on your own replacing it and setting it up. although i may sound like an old fogey, i have to say that the old technology requiring wires and cables is cheaper and more reliable, and therefore, it's good enough for me.

i was hoping to have at least a relaxing sunday this weekend, but it was not to be. em0 and i met up with em0's mom and sister for brunch yesterday. em0's sister has a cell phone that looks a whole lot like mine, so course, i took it when we left. yes, sunday was yet another day of going somewhere, coming home, and having to go back to return something. my post about feminism never got written. the laundry never got washed. although i had planned to get my digital camera working under linux again, that didn't get done either. nor did the grocery shopping, or the house-cleaning, or my room-cleaning. man, i'm getting exhausted thinking about all the stuff i didn't do this weekend.

yes, i am in a bitchy and snarky mood. it's monday, i'm at work, and i had a shitty weekend.