more about qat

qat (also known as khat, soomaali (somali) qaad, አማርኛ (amharic) chat) is a plant, celastrus edulis, used as a daily narcotic in south arabia and northeastern africa. it is illegal in the united states - i believe i blogged about a huge qat bust made recently in the DC metro area.

so. i was looking for some information online about mocha city, yemen (as opposed to the five million pages about the coffee of the same name) and came across a page with advice about yemen - i want to study arabic there, is it safe for women foreign students, tell me about the history of such-and-such castle because i hear it is the oldest in the world, etc. but one of these questions was, "how do you use qat? what are its effects and how long do they last?" the (anonymously submitted) answer was interesting and wittily written, so i thought i'd share.

Late morning: buy your qat. If you were an average Yemeni this would cost you the best part of your previous day’s wages. There are two basic kinds: branches which come in a large plastic bag, and shorter stalks (about 30cm long) wrapped in banana leaves. The latter are known as rubtas and two should be enough for a beginner.

Then have a good lunch, because you’re not going to feel hungry for a very long time. After lunch, you sit down with some friends and copious bottles of mineral water and start chewing. Start with the youngest shoots. If you’re a vegetarian you should tweak them gently to remove any insects.

how nice of this person to note that you might get bugs atwixt yer dents if you aren't careful, and useful information for those more used to, say, shisha about food.

Nip off the shoots one by one, crush them with your teeth and push them into your cheek with your tongue. You will gradually build up a wad in your cheek (it doesn’t matter which side). The ability to establish a large wad and keep it there for several hours is a matter of social prowess. Some Yemenis, whose cheeks have stretched over the years, can handle a wad the size of a tennis ball.

remind me to not develop this hobby. talk about silly: "i'm more of a man that you are! look at how big my wad is!"

man, is anything untainted by penis fencing in the world?

now, though, comes the part we're all waiting for:

The effects? Well, if you imagine a couple of joints followed by six double espressos you’ll be on the right lines. [...] By now you’ll probably be in the midst of some deep discussion with your friends and you’ll be impressed to find that you’re far more articulate and intelligent than you ever imagined.

As the sun sets, you’ll realise why the Yemenis like to put multi-coloured glass in their windows. After dark, the lights will twinkle as they’ve never twinkled before and you’ll want to touch the stars. By the end of the session you will have (a) thought of a solution to any problem you care to mention or (b) decided that it doesn’t matter anyway.

sweet. imagine: architecture inspired by drug use on a massive scale (one estimate is that 80% of yemenis use qat daily). i am also reminded again of black hawk down, when the commander says, "we'll infiltrate the city in the early afternoon when the skinnys are all fucked up on qaad." (yes, "skinny" was the somali campaign-slang equivalent of "gook", presumably because the local yokels of east africa are notoriously tall and thin - good adaptation for the awful heat.)

but nothing comes without a price, so let's skip down to it:

By lunchtime next morning you’ll be longing for a nap; your mouth will feel sore and the hyperactivity that was in your brain the previous evening may well have worked its way down to your intestines.

eww, ass-hangover. but i'm longing for a nap every morning anyway, so what's the difference there?

i also suspect that, given the ephedrinoid contents of the shrub, the unlucky hung-over might be a little "e-tarded" (ie. stupid, confused and mentally lethargic).

well, i'm not going to be doing qat anytime soon - it's illegal here and i'm not one for drug use anyway, even the legal kinds - but hey. maybe it'll become the next drug craze in america. sounds better than heroin and cocaine innit.

edit: the only post i seem to have made that mentions qat is this one, entitled "tlön, uqbar, orbus tertius".