dump out the vaccine!

remember when you two took a bold stand against our most ungracious "ally," the land of smelly cheese and government-sanctioned secular humanism? when i heard about your drive to change "french fries" to "freedom fries" on the white house menu, i shit my pants in glee. way to go, boys! in fact, those soiled pants have been preserved in a small sarcophagus next to a shrine to commemorate those who make revolutionary decisions for the good of our country.

however, i am not writing to laud your achievements. instead, i have bad news. tell you of a most disturbing development. it seems that we are about to import a whole SHITLOAD of french flu vaccine into this holy land. this cannot happen! please tell your constituents that they must boycott this vile vaccine. they are tainted with french cooties! furthermore, i suggest you send all off the poisonous french liquid to the blue states, and most importantly, areas like new york city, san francisco, west hollywood, and cambridge, massachusetts - anywhere that is seething with metrosexuals, intellectuals, and butt-fucking queers. inject them all with the poison, and let us catch "freedom flu!"

as always, NO to french fries, YES to falafels, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!

love,
a true american... FUCK YEAH!

[update: gotdammit! i was pre-empted. bleh!]