gwen zepeda makes my day better

gwen zepeda of gwen's petty, judgmental, evil thoughts was particularly amusing today. she decided to post a rant about random things she always wanted to say but never managed to make into a sufficiently lengthy post. point two is... well, let's just say i've been there for this conversation about a bjillion times, including with some queers, if they're not extremely experienced in girl-on-girl love. this is the conversation that inevitably erupts.

Most men know women's bodies better than women do, and men like women more than women like women. (Or maybe it's just the Latino and Asian men who surround me?) Every time I'm in a mixed group and a piece of media featuring a naked woman appears, I can count on two things. One, the men in the group will be glad to see the naked woman. Two, at least one of the women in the group will criticize the naked woman's body for something absolutely ridiculous.

Example:

A group of people is sitting around watching TV, and the remote is flipped to the Pron Network Amateur Hour, and there's a woman on the screen with, say, bumpy/large/pink areolas and inner vulval lips that extend past her outer ones, or any other variation on female sex organs.

Brandon: Leave it on that channel.

Brenda: Ew. Why? That girl is gross. What's WRONG with her nipples? My nipples don't look like that!

Dylan: They look all right to me.

Kelly: Whatever. Look at her CUNT. Oh, my god. Who has a cunt like that? That's disgusting. Who would want to have sex with her?

David: I would.

Donna: Seriously, you guys. I have never seen a woman with abnormal nipples like that.

Steve: You should watch more porn. They come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Brenda: Gross.

And don't even get me started on the way women smell, and how they hate it, and how so many men are obsessed with it, because that's just too much for me to talk about on the Internet, where so many people have such delicate constitutions...

and don't get me going on trying to watch porn with gay men. man, i thought straight women were body nazis, but gay men don't even understand the basic notion that women are supposed to have, say, breasts and an ass.

gay man: "OMG she's got a HUGE ass!"

me: "no, she's female. women have asses. gay men have rock-hard places where their legs meet their backs."