And Finally, the First BlogHer Post With Actual Writing

on a lark, i registered for BlogHer as soon as i heard about it, not knowing for sure whether i would go through with it. travel is something i endure. a cross-country trip with a tight turnaround is out of character for me. i'm not sure what i was expecting to get from the conference. for some reason, i envisioned something like a 'fireside chat.' the event was an ocean of clickity sound from laptops, digital cameras, and all manner of other gadgetry. wifi was available, though access problems arose because the setup wasn't quite enough to satisfy demand. there were laptop stations in the main entrance hall for the non-internet-enabled among us.

i was struck speechless from the beginning and stayed that way most of the conference. it is also out of character for me to dive right into a high-energy gathering of total strangers. other people reacted differently to the tense excitement that thickened the air. the number of print media writers at the conference was atonishing. women casually offered their assistance in pitching stories to mainstream publications. although it's stupid, the mantra that dominated my mind was -- 'i am so unbelieveably out of my league right now.' another was, 'don't open your mouth or you'll sound really stupid.' this reaction was completely irrational. other people traveled from foreign countries to attend the conference. people who don't even have blogs showed up. wfd doesn't have a focus, so i didn't feel i had anything unique to say about blogging.

i'm burned out on politics. i suck as a political blogger anyway. there's a huge scandal on with karl rove, and, as a liberal political junky, i should take a near pornographic pleasure in following every detail. every other day, i scan a few political blogs to keep up to date and that's it. the mood of my days used to rise and fall with john kerry's poll results, but i can barely be arsed to write about what is potentially the biggest political scandal since Iran-Contra.

because i had no idea what i wanted out of the conference, i took photographs, silently cursing vivicam for programming a beep for every single action. i sincerely apologize for having a cheap, noisy camera. taking photos was the only thing i could think of to do to relieve my social anxiety. otherwise, i'd have sat there, face blank, drool rolling down my chin. in fact, that would probably have been more annoying, not to mention disturbing, than my noisy camera.

this is my roundabout way of saying that i haven't fully digested it. there's a lot i'd like to say -- about trolls, about the technorati 100, the a-list, and the meaning of life. however, i won't write about it tonight because of that nine to five job i have. tomorrow's post will be a jewel of wisdom about trolls and how to deal with them.