Wednesday, July 23, 2008


over the course of the past four months - with the (1) 13 hours a day, 6 to 7 hours a week boiler-room atmosphere of my workplace where everyone became desperate and abusive and the (2) increased fighting between me and my girlfriend due to said job situation (which i've been trying unsuccessfully to get out of), i've become pretty unsettled and unhappy. timewise, the bulk of the deterioration of my sanity started around 10th year reunion and has pretty much gone downhill.

and the kicker came yesterday. my ex called me after 3 years of not contacting me and relayed some heavy stuff. i'm not going to get into it here, but it brought back a lot of memories that i thought i had erased permanently. i know she had to tell me this stuff, but wow, i was so not in the right frame of mind to hear it. of course, i handled it immaturely, because i couldn't deal with it emotionally. so now i just apologized, through e-mail of course, because calling was too difficult.

i wonder how my dad dealt with all the job stress and marital craziness and general awooga that was and continues to be his life and how he came out normal and successful. and he immigrated penniless from a different country, which i'm sure adds a whole mountain of uncertainty and stress.

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