the theocons' helpful stooge.

j.m.g. quotes extensively from a blogger named "dagon," a grumpy paleo-gay. basically, he is a separatist gay supremacist, who heaps disdain on any gay person who disagrees with his idea of what gay culture should be. he believes that gays should live in a separate world and do special gay things far far away from straight people. oh golly gee!

and look at this little beauty:

I'm skeptical of straight people finding their lives' fulfillment in having babies and (at least!) doubly skeptical of gays' pantomiming that life trajectory. Turning one's back on powerful biological imperatives, including the urge to reproduce, is important. It is the kind of action that separates us from animals. We are, of course, animals, but we are also uniquely positioned to defy our base instincts. Failures to defy these instincts constitute massive failures as human beings.

look! he's even using the same logic as gay re-education organizations like exodus, who also want gays to defy powerful biological imperatives to conform to a predetermined standard.

there really isn't any difference between grumpy paleo-gays and right wing theocrats. both are fearful that their way of life will change if gays are accepted as equals in society. now ain't that some shit? like peas in a pod!

both want to preserve their way of life, and change scares them. they are afraid that their world will be taken away from them if gays become mainstream. since they have inadvertently ended up on the same side of the debate, we should respond to them the same way:

• to theocrat: my decision to get married and have kids will not take away the right for you to get married and have kids. your way of life will not change.
  
• to grumpy paleo-gay: my decision to get married and have kids will not take away the right for you NOT to get married and have kids. your way of life will not change.

it is really a simple concept. also, i think we should keep pointing out that theocrats and grumpy paleo-gays have ended up strange bedfellows. first, it is 100% true. and second, it may be fun to watch their heads explode upon realizing it.

update: a "tee hee" moment. in the comments thread a commenter tells me to "chew on mary cheney's rug" and then suggests that i secretly harbor the desire to touch him. turns out that he's a famous writer, which means that he possesses (or at least should possess) the ability to construct coherent arguments, because, you know, that's his FRIGGIN' TRADE. ahem. a sixty-year-old writer (and a prominent one at that) is reduced to hurling insults, which are not normally heard outside of a junior high school locker room, at me. awesome! that totally made my day. :)

another update: dagon admits it.

"I think I'm afraid that the institutions of marriage and child-rearing will come to define the norm for gay people. I'd hate to see that happen."

he's afraid that his world will change, and he will end up being out of step with the world. this is the same type of irrational fear that motivates social conservatives: if gays enter the mainstream, their (i.e. sociocons') way of life will be altered. even j.m.g. notes that he harbors this same fear: "That doesn't mean I don't still consider heteronormative assimilation to be the greatest internal threat to the continuity of gay culture. It is."

here, let me try to lay these fears to rest.

gay culture has always been an evolving entity, and it has been around for longer than any of us have been around. gay culture did not begin at stonewall. it will not end with gay adoption. and as long as gays are in the minority, we will always create our own spaces to find one another. it is terribly inefficient to go to a straight bar or club and try the "find the gay" game when straights outnumber us 19 to 1. we will always need our own chatrooms, our own meeting spaces, our own bars to find a mate. and as long as we have money, television networks and corporations will market to us. look at rosie and her gay family cruises. look at "the L word." the things i just mentioned might seem a little bourgeois and mainstream, but they are pretty damn gay. gay culture may change and evolve over time, but it will never disappear. so there will be "continuity" - it just might look a little different (at least on the surface) over time.

with that being said, what is ostensibly "gay culture" (at any given point in history) isn't what all gays experience(d) or want to experience. we are all individuals and choose our own paths. recognize that all gays share only one fundamental similarity (sexual orientation) but about a million differences otherwise. we are never going to function as the borg.

gay equality only means we won't be forced to be in the ghetto. but it will always be an option for those who don't wish to, um, "assimilate."