says the great yellow "breaking news" bar on cnn.com:

"CNN projects Democratic incumbent Bob Menendez will win the New Jersey Senate race, defeating Republican challenger Tom Kean Jr."

so, listen, rest of the united states... if the dems don't come out with a majority, it's not new jersey's fault!

meanwhile, in new york, hillary clinton is running against a hibernating box turtle on which the republicans have spray-painted an "R" and is (surprise) projected to win, despite the fact that, if she wins, them illegal mexicans will abduct your daughter and force her to marry someone of the same sex in a ceremony conducted... in spanish! MIERDA!!!

update: the mixture of lube and butt juice that is a stain on pennsylvania has been mopped up!

and as of 9:32pm eastern:

VA SEN [80.84% IN]
ALLEN 898,328 49.68%
WEBB 889,136 49.15%

will dems be shaking their macacas, i mean maracas?