i had an anti-hipster rant buried somewhere in here, but then i realized that i shouldn't be hating on them. why? because i discovered that they are useful after all! you want to invest in real estate? follow the white kids with purposely mismatched clothes and uneven haircuts from the midwest who want an "authentic" experience by living in a grungy neighborhood. first, the old-school working class landowners see the uneven haircuts and mismatched clothes and realize they can finally raise rents, because even though these white kids with liberal arts and fine arts degrees are trying to look funny, they still have money. (note: there is a distinction between a "hipster", who is a trust find kiddie slumming it - see: that dude in "rent" whose parents live in scarsdale, and someone who actually needs the low rent, i.e. students without trust funds) landowners start making improvements with extra money from hipsters. then the yuppies come a-knocking. hipsters start crying, bemoaning the end of "authenticity" as they know it (*ROFL*) and they flee to another grungy neighborhood. landowners get giddy, because they see suits and can raise the rent even more and get ready to sell. then landowners sell fixed-up brownstone for seven figures (which they bought for five figures generations ago) and retire to florida.
see, central square in cambridge, ma - talk about a beautiful transformation.
the trick is to follow the uneven haircuts and funny clothes.
case in point: the top one or the bottom one?
and ho ho ho... what's the difference between a hipster and a yuppie? a hipster borrows money from his parents, whereas a yuppie makes his own money.
ROFLROFLROFL!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
let's play "follow the hipsters"
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3 comments:
that thread was full of assholes. i never did like people who think a fat wallet makes them better, more productive, more deserving human beings. if they represent 'yuppies' at large then i'd prefer to have the girls pictured in the top photograph as my neighbors. the fact that people who can afford sleek, inoffensive designer WASP-wear and purebred dogs live in any given neighborhood doesn't make the neighborhood a better place to live.
funny, i think the other people are the assholes.
the irony lies in the fact that (in some cases) the girls in the top photo have the same amounts in their wallets as the "douchebags in suits," and probably more. they'll go to (dare i say it?) "hip" boutiques, purchase faded $100 t-shirts and pre-ripped $150 jeans. it's just some weird mentality that exists here. even one of my professors strolled into class with a bizarre bright pink russian-style hat (mis)matched with a grey ripped t-shirt (probably from some underground designer who charges exorbitant prices). the hat cost close to $150.
then (some of them) pretend to be all "down" and "with the common folks" "open-minded" and "real" and bla bla bla... when they're just rebelling against or feeling guilty about their parents' yuppie values. [please see all those hipster rock bands they listen to - these scruffy hipster rock bands all went to preps school too] and a lot of times, this weird anti-capitalist thread runs through their rants - probably because they either didn't like or feel guilty about their parents.
(remember a certain person in college i won't name? or some members of the WHRB staff?)
screw it. i'm going to wear my boring banana republic shirt and endure the catcalls of "SOULLESS YUPPIE!" from those who are suffering from bougie guilt. i'll buy a nice suit that wasn't purposely made to look worn and tattered. i'll buy a modern condo in a building in an "emerging" neighborhood, because (1) i'm too poor to live in manhattan and (2) i hate termites and bedbugs but i like central air. and i sure as hell don't feel guilty for having a corporate-ish job, nor do i feel guilty for having the opportunity to get said job.
drives. me. up. the. wall.
(even so, i'm not thinking of moving to williamsburg - not leaving the jerz-ay. it's still cheaper and cleaner here, and "uncool" and "unhip" - so i can live in peace.)
oops, fuck. i was thinking i linked another thread on the same topic, whose link i have lost. something about williamsburg going to shit, because people with desk jobs with actual desk job clothes may be moving into williamsburg, and "boy does that suck!"
there was one comment from some crazy twit who suggested vandalizing the newcomers' property to "show em up." and other gems, like the first gentrifiers were better than the next wave of gentrifiers because they "paint" and aren't some "douchebag banker" or some nonsense.
[did it ever occur to these people that if their parents WEREN'T "douchebag yuppies" they wouldn't be able to fund their painting endeavors?]
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