yo, welcome to the year 5766, bitches. to celebrate, some of my non-jewish friends will come over and watch harold and kumar go to white castle, a film where harold and kumar's jewish friends smoke weed out of a shofar. that gives new meaning to the phrase "high holidays."
anyway, so emily0 says that rosh hashanah applies to humans, critters and crushingly boring legal agreements. so i has a question, foos. does yom kippur also apply to critters? do your dogs have to refrain from partaking in the consumption of kibbles and bits? if so, i have come upon a brilliant plan for easing into the delicate art of child rearing. hear me out.
so my girlfriend has been talking about these future incarnations of rugrats, and said rugrats are to be raised in the jewish tradition. now, i'm thinking there should be baby steps before the baby steps, know what i'm sayin'? like, start small. like a pet. if we can take care of a goldfish, then we move up to a hamster. if we can take care of a hamster, we move up to a guinea pig. next is a puppy. and then, perhaps a small human being. however, if the pet dies, we don't move forward.
so if animals are also required to respect the high holidays, here's what's gonna happen. we start with a goldfish. on yom kippur, the goldfish gets no food or water. we empty the fishbowl and put it on the countertop from sundown to sundown. if it survives, then we move up to a hamster, and then up the chain. if it dies, then we get another goldfish and try again. (come to think of it, maybe the goldfish should also celebrate purim. replace the fishbowl water with beer and see if it lives.)
ha ha, okay. i'm JUST KIDDING! happy holidays!
2 comments:
you are speaking of spawning?
which one of you would be With Pod? or would you switch it up?
and whose sperm would you use?
as indicated, i'm not the one with the child bearing hips
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