"is this thing on?"

*ahem*

yes, hello. good morning. *scans blogsphere nervously* is anyone listening?

*deafening silence*

well, i know most of our readers are at blogHer & i wish i were there with you. em1 has vowed a long and elegant post on her experiences - she actually called me, squealing with glee, last night, which is unprecedented. (that is our noble correspondent as she normally appears while working.) i think that's the only time she's ever phoned me, actually, and the squealing was - well, let's just say it took a minute to realise who that happy, girly voice squeaking on about blogging was, no matter that she was talking about blogHer.

but.

until then, i'm manning the guns. and i feel that i have been neglecting my duties as writer, although i admit that as fanbase liaison i have been working overtime.

ha ha, but seriously, folks. i have stuff to say.

first, a shout-out to pricanbarbie for her timely pic of her fellow harvard summer students. i have cropped and enhanced the original photo for your enjoyment: for those unclear, it's the tourist-revered "statue of the three lies" of john harvard, which frankly harvard students frequently do Very Bad Things to. in this case, there was no urination, creative costuming or queer fucking going on, but there was a summer student fresh off the central square dance party (see below) mounted 'pon S3L with his lady love..

thank you, barbie-borriqueña, for use of your photo, and thanks to sweetbasil for directing my attention to it.

as i noted, there was this crazy party in central square last nite. they shut down the street between the post office and city hall and played crazy hip-hop dance music. when i strolled through, i encountered a gorgeous array of centralians mixing freely and joyfully. there was a long, double row of chairs entirely populated by male creole (haitian) community elders: dour sacks of potatoes all with their arms 'cross their chests. and their wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters and perchance great-granddaughters in the street dancing joyously to the latest tub-thumping, ass-shaking popular tune: as i passed by three creole grandmothers, arranged from left to right from lightest to darkest-skinned, getting jiggy with it, they all smiled at me in obvious glee. the little kids were jumping around like sugar-rushed pogo sticks.

on my way, i passed two caucasian amazon dykes with identical short-hair butch cuts, one dyed pink and t'other green. immediately i thought of my mom's two new kitties, whom i call pink & green because i can't tell them apart except by their collar colours. and there were already homos milling in the crowd as the sunset drawled over the street - from reports from friends who went for the dancing later, it became quite the homo event, with some interesting crossover action from the other segments of the community.

indeed, the crowd became quite homolicious and over-run by students who couldn't get into the closing night of manray, or went and then left, or just wanted to go out to something free instead. and then they were bootilicious to the tub-thumping latest hip-hop dance tunes, to the total pleasure of all watching.

i wasn't there later. i was watching battlestar galactica because first, i had been to it earlier; second, i am a nerd; and third, i was trying to be a responsible blog-liaison (and human being) and not be everpresent in all aspects of the life of someone i know. (see below for egregious photo of us making with the smooches.)

anyway, the last thing i had to share is cobbed from a conversation i had with that same particular reader. she had forwarded me the clip from PBS about ex-gay ministries, and being in a particularly bad mood, i went a little humourously insane. see, sometimes when i get angry, you can see the troll blood. it were my grandpa on my father's side, and it makes me hang out in swamps, live near bridges and saltwater, and an (un)healthy appetite for human flesh. i now quote from her blog:

last night, i discovered Worthy Creations, Inc. a "Christian ministry dedicated to offering hope and healing to individuals seeking liberation from homosexuality, and providing support and encouragement to individuals facing the reality of a homosexual loved one." you can read their beliefs about homosexuality here and the autobiography of their founder, Christine Sneeringer, an "ex-gay" here.

i made the mistake of sending this wholesome site along to emilyzilch. here are excerpts from her response:

*girl* (12:17:06 AM): no alcoholics, no disease, no untimely deaths, no abuse, no fucked-up families, no divorce, one male and one female child, stable family life, good education, episcopalian upbringing
*girl*(12:17:11 AM): and i'm just this
*girl* (12:17:18 AM): i put the lie in everything they claim

*girl* (12:19:02 AM): EARLY EXPOSURE TO PORNOGRAPHY!
*girl*(12:19:04 AM): ha ha ha
*girl* (12:19:09 AM): that's fucking priceless

*girl*(12:26:29 AM): i like how at the end of the article, they admit they are lying fuckers: Unfortunately , there are no quick fixes or easy answers for gays who wish to change.
me (12:27:17 AM): :-)
*girl*(12:27:18 AM): yeah, it requires suffering like a crazy self-flagellant and denying your entire being because you can't stand to be yourself when other people don't approve of that

*girl* (12:27:56 AM): I WILL CRUSH THEIR TESTICLES AND ABORT THEIR BABIES!
*girl* (12:28:05 AM): THEY SHALL NOT BREED IF I CAN HELP IT!
me (12:28:06 AM): that chick is a tool.
*girl* (12:28:21 AM): i hate her
*girl*(12:28:27 AM): i want to meet her and fuck her brains out.
*girl* (12:28:31 AM): then show the secret camera
*girl* (12:28:37 AM): on national television
*girl* (12:28:44 AM): of her nibbling on my tit
*girl* (12:28:46 AM): fucker

me (12:30:28 AM): "I played on a church softball team"
me (12:30:31 AM): how GAY is that
*girl*(12:30:32 AM): ooh, she's got a root
me (12:30:33 AM): SOFTBALL. i mean, c'mon.
*girl* (12:31:26 AM): and i like how she is so fucking retarded that she conflates being a lesbian with "not wanting to be a girl": This freed me to embrace my gender and to stop rejecting God's design. I even started using my full name, Christine, because I no longer wanted to hide being a girl.
*girl* (12:31:38 AM): yeah, because there's nothing dykes want more
*girl* (12:31:43 AM): than a man
*girl*(12:32:03 AM): jesus, the balls on her!

*girl* (12:33:22 AM): and, um, i wasn't a woman - i was a lesbian, which is a different sex. but i got a sex change, so now i'm a real girl! just like pinocchio!

me (12:33:30 AM): haha, i should know better than to send you inflammatory christian links
*girl* (12:33:59 AM): "Christine Sneeringer is the director of a Christian outreach to homosexuals, a member ministry of Exodus International. She lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where she attends Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale (nondenominational) and masturbates watching women's pro basketball."

*girl*(12:35:39 AM): she only does this shit because when she gets off with some woman secretly, the guilt makes for better orgasms.

*girl*(12:38:01 AM): crazy motherfuckers read this book in the wrong language about a guy who thought whores and poor people needed help, not rich fucks, and all they can talk about are HOMOSEXUALS

:: end scene.::

arr, i were in rare form.

you may now go enjoy the rest of your day. move along, move along.

I WILL EAT THEIR BABIES!