crushed

so today, as if spring were insufficient enough on her own, i were smote down by the hand of the divine. for some (retrospectively stupid-ass) reason, i decided i wanted a coffee, so my roomie and i hit the local brewhouse. and on our way out, we ran into some of her friends.

i don't know much about her. i'd never seen her before, and she was sitting on the ground stroking her (straight) friend's leg to compare their razors' effectiveness. or something.

but desire is a fickle beast, and especially strong-willed in certain seasons.

and without a doubt, those were the most ridiculously stunning eyes i have ever encountered.

i think i said my name when we were being introduced. she talked to me - a kind word. she looked up at me and told me to make a wish.

as i stood transfixed, trying not to fall on my ass as i got my first look at her eyes, i realised i had no idea what she was talking about. i had heard the words, but the effects of our brief eye contact was as if i had accidentally shifted into reverse instead of fifth gear while driving: my brain leapt up out of the hood in a shrieking, exploding fireball. i wanted to understand what she was saying, but the words were crystal clear meaninglessness.

luckily, she repeated herself.

only she smiled, so as i watched the scenery spin out of control around me, it took me a blank, blushing, sweating ten seconds of agony to realise her second words to me were, the clasp of your necklace has come around to the front, so put it back and make a wish, she said. i think. i nervously smiled and slid the clasp to the back. i did manage a wish, which was granted in that she looked at me again (in passing).

i didn't want to speak. if i could, i'd say something stupid with my horrible voice. i was so confounded, i didn't even get her name. i got it later from my roomie, who knows her.

okay, enough gawking. that goes for me, too. i'll never get her; i'll prolly never even encounter her again. doesn't matter - if i did, i'd be as useful as suspenders on a snake, what with who i am and the fact that my tongue appears to swell up inside my mouth around her. even though i know she barely registered my presence.

go on, back about your business. you only get to see the injured and dead being pried out of the car wrecks for that brief minute or so when you cruise by them on the highway, traffic cops waving you on through the single remaining open lane, and now you are moving past the twisted hunk of ruined metal and bloodied glass and back on the smooth whirr of the highway.