yippee

go to this site (the united states patent and trademark office) and type in this patent number:

5409905

(just cut and paste)

how did this get past the uspto? i have no frikkin' clue.

this is just plain hysterical: "If you want to know why there are no other zinc lozenges that can cure the common cold, it is a matter of his patents! George Eby patented all of the zinc lozenge formulations that would shorten or cure colds, thus all of the other zinc lozenges use non-infringing formulas that can not cure colds."

is that a loud duck in the background i hear? it's flapping its wings and cackling at the patent examiner.

now i'm a skeptic, and i am elated to say that i (or rather, henry0 and the lady) have found a homeopathic remedy that either eases you to recovery of the common cold (not "CURE" for crying out loud...) or has a killer placebo effect. it's definitely tasty. it's probably not all that new: the ingredients include all the usual suspects -- vitamin c, vitamin a, vitamin e, riboflavin, zinc, some other minerals, some amino acids, some herbs (which can't hurt), and it dissolves in water to make a pleasant-tasting drink. you look forward to drinking it every three hours, because it tastes like orange soda - and theraflu and nyquil taste like shit. (for the record, none of the over the counter FDA-approved symptom-relievers actually relieved any of my symptoms). consequently, you're constantly pumping your body full of vitamins and minerals and, most importantly, LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER. so you're doing what your physician tells you to do, except you're not popping nasty multivitamins -- you're drinking yummy orange soda. TWO THUMBS UP! i definitely recommend it.

i also made myself chicken soup, which actually helps. the rising steam, the heat, and the pleasantly bland and salty taste make you feel less ornery.

sleeping a lot is also recommended.

there is no magic cure for the common cold once it's started, but you can use some common sense remedies to make the process less nasty and more speedy.