if rage and hatred hadn't existed before today, i would have invented them. i've had _ONE_ good night's sleep since last weekend. if someone coughs two miles away, i hear it and it wakes me up. if someone breathes in the next room, i hear it and it wakes me up. if a butterfly flaps its wings in brazil, i hear it and it wakes me up.
aliens came down from the sky and spirited away the normal, happy me and left a raging bitch in her place. i could eat nails for breakfast. i seek out reasons to be rageful and hateful. i see people walking down the street and i think about how much i hate them. especially if they look happy. i have come to appreciate the beauty of destruction and violence, and i'm more than eager to share. let me join the fascists today, just so long i can beat something or kick something. imagine PMS + relentless insomnia + "i fucking hate all of you, so die right now, fuckers!" and throw a little bit of "i forgot to move my car for street-cleaning so it was towed this morning to the tune of $65 dollars + a $20 dollar ticket."
Total. Meltdown.
i didn't have any tampons left this morning, just when i needed them. the asshole at the towing company couldn't be bothered to get off his lazy ass to see if the gold car towed from franklin street this morning was indeed a saturn. asshole hung up on me after telling me to hike to bumfuck somerville to find out if that car was indeed my car. i began to cry and thought about buying firearms and going postal on the towing company just to release the building pressure of rage and hatred in my aching, sleepless skull.
then i went to cvs and bought a suitcase-sized box of tampons, just praying that the unlucky bastard that rang me up didn't look at my reddened eyes and smoldering expression full of rage and hatred and ask, "What's wrong?" or more dangerously, "How are you?" without a doubt, i would have separated his head from his shoulders and sucked his brains out of his neck. lucky for him, he kept silent. i almost regretted that he did.
then i hiked out to McGrath highway in bumfuck somerville to pick up my car. this took TWO hours. two hours of rage and hatred. two hours of fantasies of pouring six pounds of sugar into the gas tank of every tow truck owned by this company. two hours of fantasies of slashing their tires, one by one. two hours imagining what i was going to do with all the rage and hatred if the gold car they towed from franklin street this morning was not, in fact, my car. someone would have died a painful and bloody death, and it wouldn't have been me.
i am not allowing comments on this post. if somone tried to say something nice, i would hunt them down and kill them. if someone tried to make fun of the situation, i would hunt them down, torture them, and then kill them.
