Hit Me Over The Head With A Hammer

cuz, i am again in the grips of intractable insomnia. i hate the way it slowly creeps up on me. rarely does it happen suddenly. usually, the problem first manifests itself as frequent waking throughout the night -- every one or two hours. this makes me sluggish, inattentive, and very bitchy.

in the next stage, i take a long time to fall alseep -- about two hours. after a few hours of fitful sleep, i wake up no later than 4:00am, giving me plenty of time to feel pissed off and cheated by life. then, the final and most terrible stage -- i simply can't fall asleep all night. i doze off after 8:00am and sleep fitfully with frequent waking for four or five hours. i am in that stage now.

there are only two over the counter sleep aids, and i have such a tolerance to both of them that they don't work. i am wary of getting a prescription medication because of the potential for addiction. i also feel like this is simply part of my life. i've had trouble with insomnia since early adolescence. so, i guess i'm just fucked.