Thursday, March 03, 2005

note to self: d&d makes you mostly unfit for the israeli army



today on jewSchool, theViewFromHere's Harry notes the following amusing tidbit:

According to this article on YNET news, any potential soldier who tells Israeli army recruiters they play Dungeons and Dragons is automatically given a low security clearance.
These people have a tendency to be influenced by external factors which could cloud their judgment, a military official says. "They may be detached from reality or have a weak personality — elements which lower a person's security clearance, allowing them to serve in the army, but not in sensitive positions.
Ok, I think this is way off base. Now, I never played Dungeons and Dragons — I was more the Marvel Super Heroes, Star Frontiers and Gamma World type — but I think this is ludicrous.

I present to you the Top Ten reasons why Dungeon and Dragon players are an advantage to the IDF.

  1. Ability to make split second decisions while simultaneously thinking about how the entire scenario will play out.
  2. Axe-wielding skills.
  3. Two words: Healing potion.
  4. Ability to think outside the labyrinth.
  5. Most Dungeon Masters are good strategists.
  6. Being a 15th level magic user warrants as much respect as being a soldier in Sayeret Matkal.
  7. Elf assassins are stealthy and efficient.
  8. Chicks dig chainmail armor.
  9. After battling enough dwarfs and mystical pygmies you learn not to underestimate your enemy.
  10. Heightened ability to read people — "She may look like a Mermaid but there is definately something nefarious about her and I've been less trustworthy of female lake dwellers since that Siren pulled a fast one on me last year back on the Netherworld."
i don't understand why playing D&D makes you t3h w34k3st l1nk but no-one asks if they played warcraft more than two hours a week. i mean, really. do they ask if you like to dress up like a bunny rabbit during sex, too? oy, you want i should maybe stay at home instead of kill arab children? because maybe i like the dice a little? nu, you're twisting my arm.

anyway, i thought his riposte was worth the repost. *snicker*

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