Tuesday, February 08, 2005

stop the fauxhawk!



on my old website i spoke of the travesty known as ugg boots. fortunately, that blemish in an otherwise inoffensive year in fashion has more or less gone the way of the buffalo and has either found homes in various salvation army outlets or as canine chew toys.

however, one irritating urban curiosity has not yet been phased out from public display: the fauxhawk. the fauxhawk appeared en masse in the last couple of years and has continued to greet viewers with its tenuous message: "i am almost edgy. i think."

either shave the sides all off, or go corporate, you fence-sitters! call it the great lukewarm hair gel revolution. viva la half-ass! the fauxhawk was, at one point, ubiquitous at gay clubs, where abercrombie-clad men would hop around looking like demonic kewpie dolls. the fad entered the lesbian scene as well, with the younger butch members sporting the do. one girl even wore it to school, and i swear, i had fantasies of attacking her with a norelco electric shaver (after which my fantasies became nc-17 material, so i won't go there). "CUT THAT DAMN RODENT OFF OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!"

anyhow, i still see the almost-gravity-defying just-short-of-corporate fauxhawk every day. i suppose one day fauxhawk adherents will come to their senses. until then, i can entertain fantasies of razor vigilante-ism.

10 comments:

emily1 said...

to the person whose comment i deleted -- you are not permitted to use 'gay' in a derogatory manner on our blog. plus, you are taking this post way too seriously. get a sense a humor, please.

araignée said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
araignée said...

Great... go ahead and delete. Are you afraid of the points I make? I apologize for the insults in my previous comment because I think you are referring to gays in a derogatory manner. Also "half-ass" is a handy insult to present. What is wrong with sporting this style?

emily1 said...

i didn't write this post. i can't speak for my co-blogger who did write it. if you have a fauxhawk and like it, all power to you. my only complaint was your use of the word 'gay' in what appeared to be a derogatory fashion. if you're accusing emily2 of homophobia, you might want to know that she is an out lesbian, as is my other co-blogger, emily0.

araignée said...

Sorry for the misunderstanding. But my question still remains: What is wrong with sporting this style?

emily1 said...

like i said, i can't really speak for my co-blogger. she wrote this post. but, judging from what i know of her style, i'd guess that this post was tongue-in-cheek and meant to be funny. even for people who have the hairstyle. i'm not sure why you are taking it personally and feel insulted by her post.

[ B E A U T Y Q U E E N ] said...

a faux-hawk isn't half-assed. its just leaving other options for your hair...if i shaved the sides off mine i couldnt do anything else with my hair. by keeping it a faux-hawk, i can wear it any other style too - up, down, curly, pigtails, et cetera.

just because you don't like it doesn't mean other people dont. and its more logical than a mohawk, like i stated above.

emily1 said...

how about this? since i'm not all that comfortable trying to mind-read emily2 -- i will ask her to come back to this post and comment here.

seriously guys, i don't think she was on the warpath over hairstyles. she probably wrote this post thinking it would be funny and wouldn't offend anyone.

if i write a post stating an unfavorable opinion of a band, do i have apologize to the fans of the band? is there any reason a fan of any particular band should be offended if i say that i think the band's music sucks?

like i said, i don't understand why anyone would take offense at emily2's post.

araignée said...

That would be cool. As to the example on opinions for bands, it wouldn't be unnaceptable for someone to dislike a band and state why, but emily2's post comes out more like an accusation.

emily2 said...

this post was meant to be silly and puerile and nothing more. in reality, i bear no ill will towards anyone who wears the fauxhawk, and no harm will come to anyone who does. at least from me.

these types of posts should be taken as seriously as one takes joan rivers and her constant crowing on what is hot and what is not.