Monday, January 10, 2005

the trials and tribulations of being in a relationship...



there was one thing that my ex and i had in common...

>From: emily2
>To: ex girlfriend
>hey so what is up with this no-pooping thing? i can't poop around my girlfriend! like she'll be
>here for a week and i can't poop! did you ever get over the "i can't poop around my girlfriend"
>thing, or am i doomed to have poisoned insides for a very long time?
>
>please discuss.>
>thanks.
>
>emily2

reply from my ex:

sorry, no. you are fucked. it took me for-ev-er to poop around my girlfriend...dood, your intestines are doomed. she used to be very regular and she'd poop in the mornings but i noticed she would occasionally make these lame-ass excuses to go home some mornings (conveniently after a night of salsa and beer) LMAO! and as for me, i just plain didn't poop for a week or more at a time! but eventually, we talked and joked about it so much that it became so funny when one of our butts was stinky. don't worry, you'll poop again someday. but i wouldn't hold your breath. literally. you'll give yourself an aneurysm.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

man, i'm sure a neurotic, insane mess. but pooping around SOs is something i luckily have not had to struggle with.

good luck. that is 73H SUCK, as i believe the 1337 H4XX0RZ say.

maybe tell her? and make a joke out of it? that might seriously help. it works with half my insanities.

of course, then you have to bring it up. "hey hotness, i can't pitch a loaf when you are around. y'ever have that problem?" awkward, awkward.

FM said...

oh no... i am definitely *comfortable* with pooping around my girlfriend. hell, i fart and belch and scratch myself (yes, i know... attractive, but when you're around someone 24-7, sometimes you get itchy and sometimes you need to expel gas -- it's only human).

my problem is that i am physically unable to poop. like i just don't feel the urge. it is so weird. the last time this happened was with my first ex. i have no idea what this means.