this year, it's fabulous to be a corporate drone:
I am an Aircraft Mechanic, and the company I work for, Horizon Airlines, has blessed me this year with: a wonderful Collectable coffee mug. It is made of Fine China. I know this to be true, because when I turn it over, it says china, in fine letters. It is adorned with printed images celebrating our sacrifices to the Company, thanking us for our hard work at the Company, and even takes credit for our skill and knowledge.
It comes with 1 piece of chocolate candy wrapped in golden foil. The cup originally came with 5 pieces of chocolate candy wrapped in golden foil, but my kids ate 4 pieces before I could stop them. I know this diminishes the overall value of this excellent Christmas gift. However, the included unopened chocolate covered graham cracker cookie certainly overshadows the loss of the 4 golden foil wrapped chocolate candies. The Crowning Glory of this Testament to the Spirit of Giving is the tea bag. Yes folks, Horizon Air pulled out all the stops when they ensured we had something to actually drink from the cup of Fine China.
One single teabag. The movie Christmas Vacation was based around the fact that Ed Griswold only received; a "Jelly of the Month" club membership from his boss. I got a teabag.
You see, when a Company like Horizon Air makes a little less than a BILLION dollars a year in revenue, we understand that a ham, turkey, or even a 7-11 gift certificate could potentially wipe out a Director or VP Holiday bonus, resulting in Christmas Tree Chaos. Therefore we do without. Year after year we are snubbed with $5 Blockbuster gift cards, to unsellable, poorly written, meaningless books about the Airline itself. The Mechanics at Horizon Air have had no raises in years, but thankfully the raises and bonuses never end for our upper management. The Spirit of Giving lives on at Horizon Air, except for those that make the airline great.
In the mean time, my kids want a Playstation 2 from Santa. I thought they could make up a clever sign, stand near a Freeway on ramp, and hold out the fine china cup to be filled with the Spirit of Christmas by total strangers. But there was someone already there, so I decided to sell this priceless Fine China cup to the highest bidder.
Before I forget, there is also a generic card thanking us for something (I was so overwhelmed with the Joy of Giving I couldn't read it) signed by the very upper management personnel that got their bonuses and raises yet made no sacrifice at all. You will also get hours of enjoyment through out the years hand washing this Fine China, because it is not dishwasher safe. You may also display this unusual piece of art for viewing each and every night, due to the fact that direct sunlight will damage and fade the intricate cut and paste designs embossed on this Fine China, it should not see the light of day. I will ship this wonderful piece of Fine China in UV protected packing material to ensure no sunlight damage occurs.
Let the bidding begin.
the seller has kindly included photos of his fine china christmas bonus and its accessories:
[link via alas a blog]
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