Manifesto

to all bush-bots, Demogenes Aristophanes has something to say to you from a comment thread at the eschaton:

[...] if the steal goes ahead as you think it will, the real war will begin. From our unflinching "minority" position, we will suborn you to our free-sex, Jesus-denying, homosexual ways. Your daughters will want to suck our dicks, your sons will want to take it in the ass from us, and you will want to be us. Your wives will cheat on you with us, your husbands will leave you for us and your pastors will masturbate over our J-Lo asses and donkey dicks. Your representatives in congress will sacrifice their political careers over our army of golf - ball - through - a - garden - hose interns. Your federal money sucking red states will be weaned from our blue state teats like the welfare queens that they are and your Wal-Marts and Piggly Wigglies will go belly up for lack of customers with any money left over after sales taxes and health care costs to buy their products. Your football teams will be beaten by ours. Your basketball teams will be contracted. Your baseball teams will remain minor league. And your ice hockey teams will return to where they belong, leaving you with professional wrestling that is sexier, skimpier and more entertaining when it travels to our cities and towns, because our poeple no longer believe they will go blind if they are sexually aroused. Our women will be hotter, our men will possess full sets of teeth, and our children will not spend their entitre adolescence planning how to get the fuck out of your backwards ass Bible Camps masquerading as incorporated towns. Your best and brightest will flee to our havens of rationality and nightlifes. Your best friend will marry another man in our friendly and open society and your other friends will think you are gay for hanging out with him in the first place. And when it is all over, you will die and find yourself face to face with an evil, venal, vengeful deity who you had the epic miscalulation to believe would lovingly hand you a harp and a set of wings, instead of the pitchfork and tail you suddenly find yourself in possession of.