on another second thought...

dear republicans,

don't "get hip with the times." keep on truckin' with your head up your asses. only 4% of the electorate even cares about gay marriage, and those people are decrepit, obsessed with jesus to the point of psychosis, and/or so bored out of their skulls that they can't even be expected to find their skulls even with the search and rescue efforts of the entire NYPD. those people aren't the most stable of individuals and cannot be depended on to vote rationally, not in this election and not in the next election. gay marriage, for the most part, has been an EXTREME!(tm) snorefest and a waste of your resources. but keep at it. really. when the 18-30 crowd gets older, and a new crop of younguns become eligible to vote, whom will you depend on to advance your socially conservative agenda? that's not really my concern, really, but i wish you the best of luck. the more you make gay marriage an issue, the more likely you will look out of touch with the times, and in the near future when the majority of the fine citizens of this land believes same sex marriage is acceptable, you will not be able to backtrack and deny that attempting to ban it was not in your agenda. it will be an albatross you cannot escape from in future years. it will haunt you in future presidential debates. politicians like santorum, who spout anti-gay garbage, will lose the ass hair of credibility they have, and to stay in politics, must turn their attention to other issues, but they'll probably be treated like trent lott after his gaffe. and all of this without any active input from the democratic party, which (along with a couple of republicans) quietly barred the FMA vote from even getting a simple majority. so basically, you look like a bunch of out of touch dopes (and will only continue to look increasingly idiotic), while your measure falls flat on its face. brilliant. just keep on going, dear elephant men, and peg yourselves in a corner. the rest of us will just twiddle our thumbs and watch you shoot yourselves in the foot.

sincerely,
emily2