everything i learned about the world i learned from playing civilization 3

[skip past this paragraph if you don't want to see a small rant on the "chinese taipei" nonsense.]

first of all, how stupid is taiwan's moniker for the olympics: "chinese taipei" - what kind of bullcrap is that?! (oh and incidentally, i think there is a factual error in that article. i doubt the "taiwanese" protested the use of the name "taiwan" in 1960. i think those were
"nationalist chinese" or the "kuomintang," who believed the name "republic of china," a government that preceded the people's republic of china, to be the most appropriate. more here if you are confused.) and even after changing its name and flag to something utterly asinine, taiwan p/k/a "chinese taipei" was asked to take down its advertisements by the Athens Organizing Commitee, allegedly at the prodding of china. argh! just give it up, china. (supposing it's true that taiwan is a territory of china, which it isn't) if puerto rico, a territory of the united states that doesn't even pay taxes, can have its own team and flag why don't you just back the fuck up and go forage for panda poo? and taiwan should bid for the 2016 olympics, so china will boycott and the u.s. might actually win some medals in women's diving.

[okay, here is where you should skip if you didn't feel like reading my occasional "china sucks" drivel - and everything in the following paragraph is not to be taken seriously. heh.]

so i've become addicted to a pc game called "civilization 3. the premise is to grow a civilization from a small band of settlers, discover new technologies and weapons, and then conquer the world through sheer might, diplomacy, or cultural dominance. even if you're going for a diplomatic or a cultural victory, it's a good idea to have the finest weapons in the event that an unruly neighbor attacks you. you start out doing hand to hand combat and shooting bows and arrows in the ancient era, then you learn how to run around in body armor and throw spiked balls around in the medieval era, then you learn to shoot guns, then you build tanks, then intercontinental ballistic missiles and integrated defense systems, etc.

now let's just see what kind of medals taiwan and china have been nabbing:

taiwan: taekwondo (2 gold - first gold in 73 years folks!!! and 1 silver), and archery (1 bronze, 1 silver)

china: they've been winning lots of medals shooting guns and fencing, among other things

let's see. warriors and archers against swordsmen and riflemen. you know what that translates to in civilization 3? taiwan is in deep doo doo. come on, taiwan. it's time to build that olympic stadium and get some culture points. perhaps you can join the space race. but dammit, learn how to shoot a damn gun... and learn to ride horses! if you can't do that, you can't even progress to calvary. tut tut.