sorry, but...

fed courts, which covers federal jurisdiction will still be the most boring course in law school, even if this case ends up in the textbook.

BO. RING.

"chav" part 2

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bleh

i have written 50 pages on antitrust law.

so tired.

so, um... are massagers sold in department stores in the same "relevant market" as sex toys?

that wasn't the topic i was writing on, but it is a good question. if you're a huge dork.

hey, take your "rule of reason" and stick it where that dildo won't see any sun.

HAHAHAHA.

bleh.

reality > buzz

so last night i went to babbo, and it was worth every penny. i can honestly say that it was the best food that i have ever had. before dinner we had green apple bellinis. i am an adventurous type, so i had the fennel dusted sweetbreads, and they were amazing. my girlfriend had the grilled guinea hen, which was equally amazing. the beef cheek ravioli with truffles was excellent - "best ravioli i've ever had!" said my girlfriend. the waiter was very courteous and helpful, pairing each dish with the perfect glass of wine. the dessert, a pistachio ice cream cake drizzled with chocolate sauce didn't sound especially fabulous, and we were skeptical, but it exceeded all of our expectations. then we had some cookies on the house.

(before i lose that piece of paper with the names of the wines on it: rosso di montefalco caprai 2003 and brachetto d'acqui)

anyway, many people find the indie rock / led zeppelin / 90's grunge soundtrack a little jarring, but i thought it was fitting. babbo's dishes are meant to be over the top, with flavors colliding unexpectedly. classic italian dishes are infused with modern twists. so it is fitting that the restaurant, with the old upper crust americana decor, white tablecloths, and suited waitstaff, has led zeppelin blaring in the background. it made the atmosphere less hoity toity, kind of like, "relax. you don't have to be an uptight twat to eat here, even though we're michelin rated."

anyway, two thumbs up. it might cost you a day's pay (if you're paying for two), but it's worth it! (caveat: to the penny pinchers out there, had we not imbibed the bellinis and wine, the total bill would have been less than $100, even though we had three dishes and dessert. BUT DON'T PINCH PENNIES. the wine pairings are an essential part of the experience.)

the biggest bullcrap law ever

south dakota passes bill banning all abortions in the state except those necessary to save the woman's life. the governor is expected to sign it.

yep. as expected, someone would gun for roe.

watch it. contraceptives are next.

random

taiwan president analogizes us-taiwan relations to the relationship of the two main characters in "brokeback mountain."

if you click on that link you'll see that the whole "gay cowboy" element isn't highlighted or even mentioned.

"It motivates us to understand that all of us are bound to make a difficult decision in life; yet we must strive to dispel prejudice, create trust, uphold mutual respect, and seek ways to reconcile and cooperate with one another, because only by so doing can we together reach the frontier of a `great new world,'" he said.

see? taiwanese people are smart. they get the point. that is all.

i wonder what bush's reponse would be... ha ha haaa.

(note: if you're wondering why the taiwanese seem to care so much about this film, two words: ang lee.)

i am back online!

some of you "in real life" might have heard my constant bitching about my piece of crap of a laptop. a few months ago it permanently died. since then, i have been switching between my girlfriend's laptop and my work laptop. my girlfriend travels a lot for work, so a third of the time, i didn't have internet access at home.

well, i bought a laptop. it was a good deal. less than $700 for a middle of the line dell with a free upgrade to 1 gig of RAM, so i can run bunches of programs at once.

i'm streaming musicmatch radio while writing my third legal memorandum of the week.

for bunches of internet radio stations go here.

wow, this machine is snappy.

i learned a new slang term today: chav. "da ali g show" makes so much more sense now.

pretty funny

antitrust, continued

if i have to read another case where pepsi sues coke or coke sues pepsi under dubious antitrust theories i will jump out of my window.

the games are on

south dakota is in the process of approving a bill that would outlaw most abortions in the state.

pray to the job god or goddess

i'm not going to jinx myself for announcing something prematurely, but i can say that good things *could* be in the pipeline. a headhunter just submitted my resume to my dream job. i will absolutely die of joy if i get this.

i just want to let you all know that this is a position i am willing to claw tooth and nail for, so if you're thinking of applying, i will crush you. my other option is to remain in doc review indefinitely, a factor which also adds to my desire to be the last woman standing.

*smile*

something stinky that might not stink

doggie poo energy!

a quick blurb on antitrust

after reading over thirty antitrust cases on vertical restraints of trade, i am convinced that the original intent of preventing large companies from colluding with one another to gain absolute control of the market has been lost. they are brought by whiners hoping to use the antitrust laws to gain a competitive advantage when they didn't think of something first. oh my god. this is so ridiculous. look at the parties in this case.

r.j. reynolds v. philip morris - the two biggest names in the tobacco industry were duking over PREFERRED SHELVING SPACE. no joke. philip morris thought of a program with retailers that would give them promotional displays, and since r.j. reynolds didn't think of it first, they whined and took philip morris to court.

anyway, it's become my gut feeling that if you weren't smart enough to think of a business plan first, tough luck.

as to the microsoft antitrust cases, shut up. don't knock on bill gates for being a genius.

the itunes antitrust case? don't knock on steve jobs. as much as i hate ipods, that was some brilliant marketing. i don't even know what the case is about, but i'm sure it's stupid.

antitrust laws were enacted to promote competition. but now they are often used to hold back a competitor that, through good business planning, got ahead. fortunately, for the most part, courts call bullshit on these cases.

this mini-rant has been brought to you by starbucks.

I Am An Extreme Geek

proof: i find this deeply amusing.

this gives new meaning to the phrase "high court"

yay for religious freedom. now where can i sign up?

[sarcasm]shocking...[/sarcasm]

supreme court, with the new lineup, decides to reconsider late term abortion ban. like i said, shocking.

(but what is truly shocking is that the web design for the eighth circuit courts is so 1997. ugh. just ugh. someone click on that "contact the webmaster" link and tell him/her to hire a *real* designer...)

addendum: wait! wait a minute here... if the eighth circuit, which contains nebraska and arkansas and other midwestern and great plains "red" states, thinks the ban is unconstitutional... and there are no federal circuits that disagree with them (the second circuit and the ninth circuit agree with the eighth circuit), what good would it do to uphold the ban? there is no conflict among the circuits, and furthermore, one of the most "conservative" circuits thinks the law is draconian. why step in and overturn all the lower circuits? i don't know which way the court will rule, but if they did rule to uphold the ban, it would be incredibly obnoxious. (if there were a bunch of circuits disagreeing on the constitutionality of this law, this would be a different story, but there is no disagreement.)

Evolutionary Matters

somebody better call the kansas state board of education. intelligent design proponents have a new adversary in addition to evolutionary biologists and paleontologists -- geneticists. humans and chimpanzees are between 95 and 98.5 percent genetically identical, so some biologists want to include them in the genus homo. currently, homo sapiens is the only living species in that genus:

Chimps Belong on Human Branch of Family Tree, Study Says
John Pickrell in England
National Geographic
May 20, 2003

A new report argues that chimpanzees are so closely related to humans that they should be included in our branch of the tree of life. [...]

Now, biologists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit, Michigan, provide new genetic evidence that lineages of chimps (currently Pan troglodytes) and humans (Homo sapiens) diverged so recently that chimps should be reclassed as Homo troglodytes. The move would make chimps full members of our genus Homo, along with Neandertals, and all other human-like fossil species. "We humans appear as only slightly remodeled chimpanzee-like apes," says the study. [...]

However, experts say many scientists are likely to resist the reclassification, especially in the emotionally-charged and often disputed field of anthropology.

... more ...

i'm beginning to wonder if biblical literalists are going to mount an organized campaign to ban the study and teaching of biology entirely. the field of biology has done more than challenge faith-based narratives of human origins. it's responsible for the invention of hormonal birth control with devastating consequences for the patriarchy. that alone is enough to condemn this branch of science in the eyes of reactionary social conservatives everywhere. you'd think they'd be happy that the pill allowed them to get laid more often with more enthusiasm because the wife in holy matrimony wouldn't be afraid of getting pregnant.

it was inevitable that advances in the field of genetics would upset the system of scientific naming. prior to the development of genetics, physical characteristics served as the primary means of classifying different forms of life. there will be more than 'resistance' to this reshuffling of the human portion of the earth's family tree. i dare say that spinning blades will commence chopping chunks of feces when the first printing press churns out high school biology textbooks with chimpanzees included in the human branch of the family tree. this new development will be greeted with as much enthusiasm as a commune of atheist, transgender, lesbian porn stars sporting 'Fuck Jesus' tattoos in alabama.

i have to confess that i'm looking forward to the conflagration. if i weren't so ungodly busy i'd probably collect video clips of the spittle-filled invective of outraged religious fundamentalists so that i could intermingle them with clips of chimps wigging out as they rip apart another chimpanzee to eat it. it be unfair, but really fun nonetheless. i wonder what 'alternative theory' of genetics will be offered to address the horror of knowing someone can buy a biology textbook that includes chimps in the genus homo? that's going to be a tough one because reactionaries have a special affection for the field of genetics; it can be easily manipulated to lend an aura of intellectual legitimacy to their bigotry.

there is a colossal irony in all of this. Creationism sets religious truth in direct opposition to scientific truth and never the twain shall meet. Intelligent Design, on the other hand, pretends to be part of a scientific discourse about the origins of the universe. it's a weakly disguised trojan horse, but it represents a turning point in the culture war originating in the Enlightenment. the nature of the arguments set forth by ID supporters betray a profound crisis of faith. proponents of ID have already conceded the discursive authority to science. the adoption of the language and the rhetorical structure of a scientific argument for the divine creation of the universe indicates they have accepted that a scientific theory is 'fitter' than a religious theory.

a couple of years ago, while taking one of the chinatown bus lines to new york to visit emily2, i was forced to listen to a religious fundamentalist yammer on to the unlucky bastard sitting next to him about the superiority of christianity over all other modes of belief. in his eagerness to prove his religion 'fittest' above all others, he declared that many unbelievable events in the bible had been scientifically proven! scientists had determined that the earth actually did stand still for one whole day! without even comprehending it, he appealed to science as the higher authority to 'prove' the superiority of christian theology.

Jesus of the New American Century

In honour of the Danes being pilloried, I bring to you the comic that balances the religious scales: Jesus of the New American Century.

All credit to the artist, Alice Parrot at Anti-Comics.

O Gods

O gods, Warren Ellis has discovered LiveJournal.

Warren is home alone from Saturday afternoon until Tuesday evening. Within 24 hours of this message, will Warren be:

1. So drunk that he can barely see, throwing lit matches at the neighbour's baby and calling in bomb threats to totally random telephone numbers? (Like that time he wiped the outgoing-number data off his fax machine and then wrote a letter in marker with his left hand that read "I am the brain damaged brother you never knew you had. Call me today or I'll kill someone" and then faxed it to comics artists Steve Pugh.)
   
2. Crawling through the streets of his miserable seaside town naked and smeared in ice cream, eating garbage, screaming incoherent and obscene crap at shop windows and streetlights, and masturbating weakly at passing cars?
3. Sobbing uncontrollably as he downloads 30-second excerpts of that weird German porn where they yell "Arsefick!" and then ram a latex beerstein up into someone's guts, his greying cock loosely tied into an old plastic shopping bag filled with warm mango chunks?
4. Declare himself an Operating Thetan and randomly impregnate eighteen people on his LJ friendslist simply by considering it intently during his lonely, tragic and frighteningly drawn-out night manipulations?
5. All of the above, leaving himself with absolutely nothing to do on Sunday?

Answers on a postcard to me at the usual address.

(That stampeding sound you hear is all the Joss Whedon fans who friended this journal yesterday headed for the nearest door at exactly the same time.)

O dear, o dear.

*sigh*

stop wasting money trying to stamp out this crap. why not start making money off of it? north carolina's biggest cash crop is tobacco, for crying out loud.

hypocritical?

gay guild blizzard

there should be a file started and called "interweb pseudo-reality drama." i'd prolly read it, tho haha. but anyhoo, i read a few articles that said Blizzard was banning an LGBT guild. and then they apologized. i wonder if this is one small step for All Queer Kind?

there is some interesting "analysis" on "Why Blizzard is Right" on this tho. haha.

update

whoops. missed the webcast of the oral argument of lewis v. harris this morning. lewis v. harris is the new jersey same sex marriage case that was argued in new jersey's highest court this morning. it will be available here soon.

bloop.

trembling before allah. instead of attacking kfcs, mcdonalds and pizza huts, angry fundamentalist muslims will be attacking abercrombie and fitch stores.

delirious

cartoon protestors IN REAL LIFE attack mcdonald's, pizza hut, and kfc, thereby stealing trey parker and matt stone's creative thunder.

apple antitrust

from apple.slashdot:

"The recent antitrust suit against Apple regarding iTunes and iPod has been approved to go forward. This is only the beginning of the process, but it does bring up some interesting questions about what defines a monopoly." From the article: "Slattery claimed that Apple's system freezes out competitors, and while one antitrust expert called it a long shot, another antitrust law professor said that the key to such a lawsuit would be convincing a court that a single product brand like iTunes is a market in itself separate from the rest of the online music market."

i feel that someone/something is conspiring to bring Apple down. or maybe, just trying to knock out the best company out of a good business, so that they could get a piece of the pie? i know someone on here can give some kinda true, legal perspective?

Snowstorm!

Welcome to New Jersey!

there is a car underneath that lump.

something that was pointed out to me last night

i've transitioned into the middle class! YAY! no more waiting for student loan checks and using boxes stacked on top of one another as a kitchen table. no more leaving dry cleaning to fester for months as i await my semesterly payout from uncle sam. no more trying to figure out creative recipes for ramen. no more sharing a studio with a virtual stranger. no more bundling myself in layers indoors in the winter, because i can't afford heat. no more bargaining with telephone companies on a payment plan.

i bought bookshelves, a kitchen table, and an entire refrigerator full of groceries. i have a savings account. i have all the cable channels. i can afford to go to the eye doctor and get a contact lens prescription. i can pay my student loans without going under. i can get my girlfriend's corporate health insurance. i'm middle class! i'm middle class! yay!!!

(this post wasn't meant to be ironic. hipster irony is so early 20's. plus, being a member of the middle class infinitely better than being broke. hipsters use irony to cope with the fact that they are bitter and broke.)

dear stupid law firm:

okay, i did tell a few people that i wanted to work for you based on the NALP statistics and the level of satisfaction associates get at your firm. however, I NEVER SENT YOU MY RESUME. why did you take the time to write me a rejection letter? wait, how did you get my contact information to write me a rejection letter?

go kill yourselves you fucking mofos,
emily2

About ^!#$!!&* Time

libby is rolling on cheney.

it could be worse

if you think your job sucks, read the blog of a temporary attorney in new york city. people outside of the legal profession are not aware of the opportunities available to graduates of law schools outside of the top 15 schools. most law students graduate with very little earning potential. this boggles most people's minds, including the law graduates who were defrauded into attending law school in the first place by the second tier law school published employment statistics. (hint: they *lie*.) [most schools have gotten savvy about lying - but mine... let's just say that the heads of career services were escorted out by security guards my first year in school. no, they weren't very good at covering their tracks. and to quote donald trump: YOU'RE FIRED!]

in any event, most people who graduate from average law schools end up either (1) unemployed, (2) barely subsisting in a small firm, or (3) temping.

the people who can afford to work in a small firm at first do eventually work their way up into more lucrative positions that carry more responsibility. however, since many people graduate with over $100k in student loans, the $40k-a-year-in-manhattan salary isn't feasible. oh, and many small firms don't offer benefits for entry level attorneys.

so this leaves temping, a dead-end but lucrative option. the upside is, it's lucrative. the downside is, the more you do it, the less likely you are to be picked up by a law firm as an associate. this means you are stuck. the game is... temp while looking around for a full time position. and do so within a year. and in the meantime, pay off as many loans as you possibly can. this way, you can conceivably take a low paying small firm job after paying off loans temping.

temping pays well. and the work itself isn't terribly stressful. you can make over $100k a year doing the intellectual equivalent of picking your behind. (i don't make that amount, because i wasn't an admitted attorney when i was hired on this project, but i make enough to live comfortably and save a little money.) however, the stress comes in other forms: at some firms, you can be fired for taking an extended bathroom break or having to go to a funeral. sometimes, they expect 80 hour work weeks with only one half hour lunch break each day, and your actions are monitored closely by roving associates with inflated egos. and the rest? just read the blog link above.

(i just want to say that, even though i am a temporary attorney, i have been placed in a humane environment with decent people. this is probably because i am not working for a law firm; i am working for a large financial services institution that is acting as an independent examiner, as mandated by a judge after an SEC investigation of a large corporation. other than the fact that i have no job stability, i really have no complaints. i can say that i am very lucky. most people i know are stuck temping in legal sweatshops like PAUL WEISS - don't work there! - or are making pennies doing personal injury / insurance defense work.)

the best (or possibly the very worst) mashup ever.

download this and it will either cause you much joy and laughter, or you will want to shed tears of pain. in either event, you will never be able to hear "you're the one that i want," the song from "grease," without imagining snoop dogg singing "na na na na na" in the background.

mashups have been around for a while, but the web sites that host them come and go as quickly as cease and desist letters are written.

what i don't understand is why record labels choose to pursue injunctions rather than demanding licensing fees. in the first instance, the creative work is squelched, no audience hears it, no one gets paid, and therefore no one benefits. in the second instance, the audience can still hear the creative work, yet the money is going to the rightful owners, so at least some people benefit.

going postal, part 2

not only was she batshit crazy, the shooter was also an unapologetic racist, who harbored a particular hostility towards asians.

speaking of batshit crazy and bigoted, a cretin recently attacked a few men at a gay bar with a hatchet and a gun.

the dangers of mp3 players

you can zone out so much on the subway that you can simultaneously:

1) miss your stop and
2) not notice someone stealing your cell phone.

oh yeah, and go deaf.

this blows.

consumating?

ummm, last time i checked, "consumating" was spelled with two m's, and it meant "sealing the deal" when it came to marriage. i.e. having sex after marriage.

anyhoo, there's now a site called consumating.com that "helps geeks, nerds, hipsters, and bloggers find dates" and uses tags. it's friendster/myspace + hotornot + del.icio.us + eharmony, or something. but what strikes a chord w/ me is that, i was linked to that site via an ad agency's blog, and it made me think of "consumers mating."

i'm still signing up tho! [but you won't know who i am, or will you? haha.]

Fucking Sweet, Indeed.

I was reading a post over at Jewschool about the Palestinian elections and hit this comment about the reaction by Fatah to Hamas' overwhelming win. Too priceless not to share.

Can you imagine if, in response to the Republicans gaining a stranglehold on the US government last election, the Democrats had marched out of the House and Senate and torched the Washington Monument?

I know, I know, it would have been fucking sweet, right?

The article is, well, opinionated on the subject of Palestine, and I don't like the attitude so much, but that is one fucking classic line. And there are a few others - the opening salvo matching Hamas and American KKKristian rallies is hysterical.