Alternate-Universe Hitler

today, scott bieser brought me a moment of joy. appropriately enough, it comes off of warren ellis' discussion site, the engine, specifically this gem of an entry.

i edited the post for spelling and added a link to the thread it pertains to, "Desolation Jones: Hitler as Adult Auteur". because i enjoyed it so much, i added fun images to boot.

Sort of apropos to this thread, I'm working on an "alternate universe" story right now, which has as part of its back-story a Nazi Party which didn't have Hitler in it. And a Hitler who never murdered anybody.

Hitler the dejected and rejected art student spent a few days checking out the new Nazi Party but was repulsed by the drug use and homosexuality that was openly displayed by the early membership. In our universe, he joined the Party and later purged these "decadent" elements who couldn't be persuaded to shape up and be "respectable."

In the alternate universe, he walked away from the Nazis and instead emigrated to the Republic of Texas, which had become a haven of liberty and opportunity for so many Europeans who couldn't find a place for themselves in Europe.

Instead of going into politics, Hitler pursued art, and wound up becoming apprenticed to the great Mexican muralist Diego Rivera (who also emigrated to Texas because the political situation in Mexico had become dangerous for him) and ended up marrying one of Rivera's daughters. Hitler became a muralist himself, although never achieved the greatness and fame of his mentor.

Hitler eventually had a daughter of his own, Corazón Hitler, who became a world-famous sculptress, and carved four gigantic likenesses of most-beloved Texican presidents into a granite hillside that became known as "Sam Hill." (Sam Houston, Samuel Colt, Sam Walker, Samuel Clemens.) She achieved this by carefully planting hundreds of carefully-calculated explosive charges into the hillside and setting them off in a cascading sequence which carved the almost-finished faces into that hillside in seconds.

This feat so impressed the Texans that they elected her President a few years later. Not much was heard about her father after her own wedding, at which he became so drunk and disorderly that he had to be removed by security guards.

here endeth the bits about hitler, but here endeth not the fucked-up story. n.b. the daughter of rivera (whose proper name was diego maría de la concepción juan nepomuceno estanislao de la rivera y varrientos acosta y rodríguez, but importantly for this narrative, himself a self-professed atheist but the son of a marrano, or forced-conversion jew) was marika rivera, born from his mistress marie "marevna" vorobieff-stebelska.

Back in Europe, the Nazis rose to power without Hitler, and without a United States able to decisively intervene, managed to conquer nearly all of Europe, including most of Great Britain - although Ireland remained free because the Irish Republican Army met with Albert Einstein and put together a nuke which they managed to set off in Berlin.

This event killed the top Nazi leadership but left most of the party apparatus in place, which was quickly taken over by George VI of England. Ireland claimed to have more nukes buried in various European cities, and this kept the Nazi Empire at bay in the west.

But as I said, that's all just back-story. The main story concerns a Ute Indian named "Wild Bill Bear" and three Texas Rangers who are otherworld versions of Malcolm Little, George Lincoln Rockwell and Meir Kuhane, and their mission to investigate a mysterious UFO crash near the town of Roswell in far western Texas.

And now, back to our regularly-scheduled weirdness.

the characters in question are, in our world, malcom x (al-7ajjii al-malik al-sha'b-3azz), rockwell (head of the american nazi party & an infamous neonazi, who was assassinated in 1967 by a rival) & מאיר דוד כהנא rabbi meir kahane (a mossad/fbi/cia collaborator and head of several political groups that were declared terrorist organisations in the late 1980s by israel & the usa).

jesus, now that's a comic i'd read.