platonic caves?

i missed this on friday: alternative hippopotamus' platonic narratives about the bush win.

Socrates: Consider the nature of bridge building between Left Wing and Right Wing.

Glaucon: I'll try.

Socrates: For instance, when someone says, "We’ve got their teeth clutching the sidewalk and our boot above their head. Now’s the time to curb-stomp the bastards," what sort of bridge is he proposing be built?

Glaucon: One made from the bodies of dead liberals, I believe.

Socrates: As do I. Now to the sort of man who builds bridges. Is he short-tempered?

Glaucon: No.

Socrates: Unable to form complete sentences?

Glaucon: No.

Socrates: Does he invade other countries without provocation?

Glaucon: No.

Socrates: And if he has never built a bridge before, would we expect him to do so now?

Glaucon: That would be most unnatural.

Socrates: It would. Now, let's consider the meaning of the two philosophies we are attempting to bridge. In what does a liberal believe?

Glaucon: He believes in the rights of the individual over the rights of the state. That the state exists to improve the lives of everyone. And that the governing of the state must be open and inclusive, and never secretive and exclusive. And that those who govern must govern for all, and not just their own kind.

Socrates: And what if I told you that the conservative believes none of this, and would fight to the death those who insisted on what you have just said. What kind of bridge could be built?

Glaucon: One of dead liberals, I suppose.

Socrates: And so do I.

i'm a touch of a sucker for platonic narratives. i adore juan uriagereka's linguistic-textbook-as-platonic-narrative, rhyme & reason: an introduction to minimalist syntax. that being said, there is much irony in my admiration of the platonic narrative because i frelling hate plato. (well, the original narratives that supposedly present his work, anyway - you know what i mean.) but i digress.

that quote about curb-stomping is a real one, by the way; i'm sure emily1 can provide me with the cite, i read it after the election in passing and can't for the hezmana remember whence it came. which doesn't matter so much so long as you realise someone actually posted that in a public forum after the election.

"building bridges with dead liberals" should be the tagline of a new anti-bush protest campaign. heck, we could substitute a whole line of terms in place of the word "liberals":

ay-rabs
'merican soldiers
women
queers

go on, think up your own slogan inserts!