Penis Envy

The latest ad review at [slate.m$n.com], Seth Stevenson's amusingly-entitled Romancing the Tire Swing, reminds us that penes remain on the American brain - and that penis-brain is just as irritating as you remember.

Now that you have read the article - you have, haven't you? Don't you do everything I demand, like the loyal winged monkeys you are? - let me ask: what can we do to stop this foolishness about dicks?

Did I say that out loud? Sorry, my inner monologue was made an external one. I know, the entire world is about dick; always has been and always will be. Check the Washington Monument if you don't believe me: one of the world's earliest symbols, revived to represent democracy, is the phallos.

Honestly, I don't mind that the symbols chosen are sexual. Male virility, which I find boring and pointless, is nevertheless clearly a powerful symbol. It's just that everything is about dick. Where are our power-cunts? Where are the keyhole clits & slits? I, for one, think that the lack of appropriate kusthos-shaped objects sucks.